Sun, 10 March 2019
Strangled by your own convenience
I know you love your comfort zone
So do I. I go there to rest myself and I have to force myself out, into scary uncharted territory every time
My Personal Trainer say most of us have trouble picking things up from the ground when we get old. Yet a few never have this problem
Because most stop doing it when there is a tool, chair or something to assist with
Those who intentionally do knit their shoes, and move every day done have this problem. for most its that convenience got in the way – making it very inconvenient eventually.
* when I was awarded consultant of the year 2013 out of 7500 consultants I was asked to hold (by consultants seeking the same fame and success) had a few presentations on a few different topics one including "How to increase your value" which often was interpreted as "How do I charge more" which surely is a side effect of the same behaviour.
YET most asking live during my talk always wanted to wiggle back to a convenient answer. Hoping they would get one word they could say when receiving an offer to increase it by 20% without effort.
I then said that would then be the new normal if there was such a free upgrade as no investment needed to get more we would all be doing it explaining that whatever you do at the "negotiation" will only shift it a sliver versus say you have five overs all equally exiting in work. Then the talks would be entirely different but it’s also a lot of more work. Yet in the end, you will have a lot of more options in your life than if you let convenience decide for you.
Convenience pushes the decision you know you need to make to the future
friends not behaving as you want? choose new ones, it won’t be convenient for a while but that space will open up for better people if you are also willing to level up in areas that attract those you want to attract
have empathy for your naysayers
Its uncomfortable buy if we dare to face that I, Ric, am not for everyone then we make better decisions. this was really hard for me, I am such a people pleaser, I really want to help everyone and that everyone love me but what I didn’t understand for 70% of my life was that my behaviour made me pleasant but not truly anyone’s favorite.
* Free stuff and convenience
We often forget the alternative cost we pay for free stuff. Platforms and business rarely give us stuff free as a primary thing.
Their primary thing is often a business selling us. Convenient now but will it really be so for your future self?
like Brene Brown say:
“Discomfort brings engagement and change. Discomfort means you're doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they're hiding out in the comfortable zone. When your uncomfortable actions lead to success, the organization rewards you and brings you back for more.”
The very thing that feels uncomfortable is probably the thing I should be doing at that moment. The activity that puts me on edge and tempts me to resort to procrastination – that subtle fear is indicating the task is important.
so what to do about it?
I believe in balance. You can’t always be outside your comfort zone. You need to rest, to reflect, to have a place where you ask yourself the scary questions without falling into a deep pit
but in order for that zone NOT TO shrink so much its uncomfortable small, forcing you to stand still and stiff you also need to show up with your whole self in at least a few areas that matter. that matter to you, not society but yes also that matters to your customers so you can sustain it