Are you reserving some of your capacity for enabling others without you trading time to help them get to where they need?

What are you teaching whom right now?

Every moment is an open possibility for kindness to others and yourself,
for coaching
for committing yourself for those you care about
dont wait for the big thing
make the small moments matter, again and again.

Do you see what matters to those you serve or are you investing in your own illusions and biases?

What pieces have to exist in order for your strategy to work longterm?

What pieces might exist that you are not seeing and what are you doing to become aware?

What pieces does other need to see in order to get to where they are going?

 

We never see all the pieces that matter, but accepting there is more than we know helps. accepting the uncertainty of what we see and dont see helps free up alot

just a long list of questions to make our heart and mind rest while looking within and beyond

Please help remind those you care about to protect their accounts & devices with Multifactor authentication everywhere.

Seek out ways to stay safe, helping those who you believe dont have the knowledge or capacity.

its always been urgent. Now you cant afford to wait any more. Help save others by lending a nudge, insight or knowledge.

in cyber distance is an illusion and the forces are unreal with very real consequence for you.

Seeing, asking and facing what isn't being said by lifting the Question

How often to you actually pause and make space for yourself to know your position before answering? How often do you refocus on why that ask you for a recommendation?

WHY they are asking in the first place? what is is the ask for a recommended for? 

Why do they ask you? Why now? Where are they now and do you see clearly where they want to go?

Whats your position in the recommendation? You're not in their shoes. Dont let them drag you there. Surely have empathy for their position but remain in yours.

That said said, respectfully levelup their question in a way you think will help them get from where they are and where they want to go. Dont settle for detours.

 

No one care how much effort you invested - they care about how it can help them from where they are to where they are going

release freely and often. if your idea is all you've got you've got nothing. share it with those who need it and embrace reality.

if you have to lock in knowledge you're turning into a commodity. like the hackers in the 80th used to say. information want to be free

deliberately put time-blocks onto your calendar to practice with the intent to throw away

Do things early enough with margins to let go.  create remarkable space for opportunity.  put yourself in a position where your effort matters and get evaluated by those you want to help

time-blocking, intentional action, reflecting on outcome is key. How often do you do it like that?

Dont store - Create, Release, Reflect

So its set. This show will be renamed Results & Relationships.

Why? Im hoping to help you let go of what you make.
Create it with your intent and then release it.

this show isnt just for me. The simpler name might help those its for. you.

Just like everything you create.
Lots of the stuff wont become a recurring growing assets.
but once it does, its important to remember to release it.
its no longer just for you.

Likewise do I hope to inspire you to be kind to yourself when beginning.
its impossible to know what it will become, and whom will have the best effects from your generosity.

sure its important to have an intent, a purpose and an idea if what its for is working.
and that cant happen without an idea who its for

but your work will change, and who its really for will change as you learn more.

Going back to Results & Relationships.
I think its important you think about the ratio in everything.
The highest paid programmers arnt the one writing the best code alone, they get the people and invest time and effort there too.
they get the business and help elevate the people needed to get there.

Making a real big difference is alwawys a dance between multiple axises, multiple metrics es.
Just one thing alone is not enough..

For example we steal from our selves.

write or market - instead of writting better.

write closedloop - a novel in the closet 
you need to you work where you get real life feedback.
write with some sort of notion to check if its working with what its for.

dont look for the silver bullet
dont think you will hack the system and just find the publisher
just get picked with whatever.

keep doing some work thats helping some real cause, person.
if you are not ready to be public about it. just give it into the hands of those you think it will help.

Dare to be specific and clear enough to create tension. Be respectful to those you serve, and those around you and yourself. Dare to show the tension early saves so many so much - its an huge alternative cost for us people pleasers who rather save those tough confrontative talks for tomorrow. Thinking we're doing the generous thing to have more details, habits, patterns for when we adress it.. yet often resulting in a big cost of delay or ourselves realizing to late that we're serving the wrong thing to long.

(I just realized I published this episode to my other podcast, Psychology & Cyber thus just uploading it here as a copy. Sorry for the delay and mistake on my side)

 

Ready is a choice, it not worth waiting for.

Do you regularly invest time with people who:
* claim ready enough for action even while uncertain?
* do work that matter for them regularly?
* Dare find out if those they seek to serve care about having that work done?`

What does Ready mean to you? often we forget to ask this critical question.
* when its ready - will you see it or find another thing to polish?
* out of time DOES NOT mean ready, yet often thats where we end up without intention
* Are you ready to listen to feedback?
* is the person you’re talking to ready to listen?
* if all you want to do is tell others of facts they can loop up facts if they cared, if they dont care you're not ready to help them
* life is short, we all will die. You're already self-employed for life AND other things in-between that. When will be you be ready to act like it?
* is ready for those its for, or for you?

Whats worth being ready for?
Whats worth saying no to so you can be ready for it?
So whats stopping you? Go Get it for those that care

 

Often Ready means too late. What would some early real life, real customer feedback mean for your work?

Remarkable Position and easy to say name change

It's been 8 years already with Relationship Power at work. Every week. Some of the early years it was more often.
Before that this pod was called "Levelup at work and ingame".
That's why the libsyn url is called gaming even if all those episodes are lost now due to my own newbie mistakes with an RSS feed change.

I've been wondering if we should rename this thing to Results & Relationship. What do you think oh most splendid of listener?

When I started our pod was primarily for computer leaders using the words direct, Relationship Power and such.
To figure out untrained empathy and relationships skills. Combined their already powerful data mojo. 
I myself hid behind computers for the longest time. That made me powerful in a lot of aspects and fearful in my many untrained areas.

Over the years I observed others, and myself struggle saying the phrase "Relationship Power at work"

Thus the intention with the name change is to making it easier to name this thing of ours. Its nothing bigger or more complicated than that. I'm sharing the process to help you see. Whatever you make it will also change as you learn more about it and those you serve. Getting started early embracing reality instead of staying in your head is critical. Im hoping sharing what I missed from starting helps unlock you. Free you to give whatever is rattling in your head a try.

Why Results first in the name?
 
I love that anyone can intentionally create results based on where they start in life. Independent where we currently are. Independent of what we where given we can all work on figuring out what we can give, create or teach.
its a lottery what relationship we get to start life with. its a choice what results we work hard and long for and what company we keep.
I love that results is an open way to healthy long-lasting relationships. You cant control relationships and the opening of doors. Yet you can control what you create and invest emotional labor into, and for whom's benefit.

Your reputation precedes you. Its nothing new but more urgent than ever with the ever-present machine learning.
Soon your results will be auto-presented in front of any person you meet via their AR devices. Of whoever you meet in real life by default. Even so before you get to chance to meet.

Your results is one of the most Key factors setting the options for who you get to build relationships with.
Its surely not the most important thing. Love, care & relationships are. Yet without results is hard to get the freedom to sustain that dream of yours and the dreams of those you care about.

Results. Done well and generous are also something others feel good about remarking on. Good for their own benefit (self image, status and possibilities) as well that remark benefitting their friend and you.

Owning your choice of context, your patterns and positions from which to serve.

Are you owning your choice of context?
Do you position yourself with people and situations that are likely to help others long-term and effectively?

Are you diving into your context to find the context within the context of what truly matter to those you seek to serve?

What do you rhyme with?

What does your work ryme with?
What does your relationship ryme with?
Whats your future ryme with?

We live in a time where most want to "Predict the next big wave", "find The Key that unlocks it all" or that "The golden segment to distript industries". Chasing that dream of exponential growth.

Believing we see it everywhere. Not seeing the infinite amount of tries between the dots of success.

For most of us this results in a cost of delay, in procrastination lost in a waiting game. Doing something every day that you learn from is the most common story of those that have made it.
Doing consistantly that work that helps you connect to those you want to help is the best way to learn what matter.
Waiting for to catch that "wave that is worth it" often means when it comes we are not ready to harness it. Embrace the small wins, the opportunityo to train that skill, to listen and learn to see.

What do you ryme with? Often it helps me think of predictions like spirals or repeat cycles. Instead of trying to predict exacly what the future looks like its often more helpful to se the pace of small levelups around you.
And surround yourself with others dancing to that rythm instead of lost playing the waiting for a worthy wave game.

Surround yourself with people that appreciate that you try to daily show up for what you believe in. To make a differerence for that next ryme. People who will happily let you borrow their work and learnings for that next experiment. People believing your effort will help you all versus being in a competition.

Do you see its many sides and shapes?

There is always many sides and shapes to everything that matter.
Some sharper than others. Few see the world exactly like you do.
How many of the worldviews of those you serve can you hold higher than your own when needed?

Do you intentionally make space to stay off the beaten path in a few select areas over a longer time?

Do you intentionally surround yourself with people who are happy to accept that on the edge there isnt a one clear metric to rule them all?

Do you intentionally gather people who get energy, rest and clarity from being together?

Book recommendations in this cast:

* Cold Start problem and the double-edged sword of network effect. A book that came out today so I havent fully read it yet

* This is marketing - a book I'v read multiple times and I still learn something every time.

Uncanny Sight: You saw something inside me that I didnt see until years later yet I wasnt ready when you named it and that made me nervous

Are you making people uncomfortable with what you see or does your lended sights give them freedom, energy or clarity to act for their own benefit?

Sometimes the people around you are not ready to connect to what you want to connect on.
How can you learn to see that early?
If you want to help make change happen you must meet people where they are right now.
not where you know they will be eventually.

Often that means you need to go first. To show trust by creating space for them first.
To listen for what happens or dont happen and if needed just move on. Or in other times lean in, staying with the tension longer for THEIR benefit. At other time its the exact that behaviour that makes them too uncomfortable. Easy to see in retrospect and the long game.
Really hard in the moment.
Are you paying attention to the recipient of what you see right now?
What you might call kind clarity might be perceived as way to much tension for me.
Likewise though. A few years later it might be exactly those very word you get thanked for.

[
I was also having a deep cold recording this. I hope it was bearable to listen to despite that
]

Relentless tests. Lessons and gifts are optional.

Relentless tests. Every second of your life, business & relationships.

Question is though. Are you taking the lessons that matter and letting go what doesnt belong so you learn between tests?
Are you accepting the gifts that helps both you and their giver, and letting the ones go that dont? Even if they are from yourself, fully formed, shiny and polished with hardwon sunc costs?

When you grew up. School gave you lessons, then you take the test.
And you though that was the "fair" order it was supposed to be done at.
I believe that by embracing reality you see we are all given neverending tests and its very very optional if anyone will take the lesson. Less easy is to see its the same with gifts from your former self to yourself. What got you here wont get you there. Let go of that raft and habits that protected you so far so you can form new one that serves you better where you want to go from here.

Instead of seeing goals and the long journey there. Embrace the hard obstacles right here right now. Help others move their for them, learning for yourself while doing it.

Instead of longing for a smooth journey towards the goal. Embrace that the "deeper downs" will teach you better & faster. So so how can you weave in rest time so you can go deep on a hard problem when helpful? You level up faster in positions like that versus the dream you have of smooth sailing
That position is a choice. That emotional labor is a choice.
if whater you are feeling right now isnt what you want. Whats the lesson? Whats the gift from your former past, the company you keep. what are you carrying that you can lay down in favor of helping to carry something else?

Sensortoipia. Metaverse. Data. machine learning. Fast pace of our world... Makes it hard to see the lesson longterm to say privacy yet you can still think about it right now.

Who am I teaching right now?
its so hard to missread reality thru the lens of the past.
Its so easy to be blinded by the shiny object or goal in the future.
Who am I teaching right now? Take a breath and ask yourself this six times centering on just one of the word each time you ask it.
You just might see reality better.

You are being tested all the time. Dont be unprepared. Dont autoaccept whats given.

Whats worth that extra care?

Who are worthy of that extra effort again and again?

About this eposide:
I'm glad to introduce you to Özlem, our first guest in perhaps 6 years or something of weekly shipping.

Since the 1990ths I have always created a few cyber communities where we have learned together. (On whatever voice platform made it most easy at the time)
Almost every day I'd join a live voice channel in a joint venture within a game the group as a whole would be playing.

This created a space where so many different age-groups, professions and walks of life met. Often and recurring working together creates remarkable spaces. One where we know during our day we have this "other" place where we can questions. Learn from others experiences or share when we feel vulnerable. On any topic from Life, business or anything.

I thus jumped into AltMBA number 4. Knowing already at #1 it was for me but I feared I wasnt worthy enough to be there so took a while before I dared. I have since been part of 30 akimbo workshops and a remarkable coach in a few. Because I believe in learning together. Helping each other see better together. Feel seen for what matters. So when my friend Özlem started her course on Maven.com A platform where I've also been part of a few great community based courses I thought we should talk about whats inside her creation for your benefit.

About your guest:

Özlem Özkan is an author, podcaster, teacher and coach. She tells us more about how she got Seth Godin on her show, went from homeless to living in a monument, and how every NO brought her closer to the YES.

Özlem was invited to be an instructor with Maven, a new cohort-based course platform founded by the co-founder of Udemy and the co-founder of altMBA. She is now teaching the cohort-based-course DARE TO ASK at Maven.

To attend her free workshop go to https://lu.ma/ooj6zmcs

Check out DARE TO ASK on https://maven.com/bridging-workshops/dare-to-ask?custom=true

Özlem’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ozlemozkan/

Özlem’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozkanozlem/?hl=en

THE work you want to do again

Great work is often rewarded with great work.

What do you want to become better at and for whom?

Whats a position you would feel its a luxury to serve WHOM from?

Dont make it about waiting for perfect.
Make it about progress - however tiny that might feel.

Dont make it about you.
Make it about those you're helping

Relate to each other, asking ourselves how we RELATE not how we differ, judge or oversimplify into polarized either or.
everything is a projection. everything is a reflection of us.

Dont blame others, systems and subsystems. Own your intent, effort and behaviour.

Currently around you its a lot of focus on being divided,
bad at listening,
more judgmental. We fool ourselves that its either or/black or white

if I'm right you must be wrong: no grayscale

Our axis never align perfectly, we can still be both mostly right
learn the hard soft skills, everything else will get automated.

scripts ignore all sunk costs

 

instead train on:
* give and receive feedback
* having difficult conversations
* training in one area might transfer to all areas
* Relate to each other, and teaching others how they benefit from that focus as well* helping others on their journey towards their destination, and seeing overlaps and when it's time to let go

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Humble is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.

Be the hardest working in the room, not the loudest