The Spiral of Results & Relationships:

What have you done and how well have you done it & and who cares deeply about it?

Great work is rewarded by more work.
Who do you want to service so they're getting what?

 

Thank you everyone for letting me know I missed last week.
This this short one

Minding your relationships is a given. But have you given any thought to how much they affect your habits, your greenstreaks your levelups?

You have way more minutes in your day to day life available to you that you thing.
They are just easily given to distractions or just not thinking about it and thus not thinking about how much such minutes we all have every year.

Train a habit of start writing or adding to a project of your chose when you find yourself waiting for a meeting to start, or things are delayed and you have to wait. Instead of just "see what's new", give yourself the gift of having written a few sentence, made a notes on the next design etc or whatever you are creating.

Once you have a bigger block of time you have something to start from helping momentum alot.

Reminding us of that we will eventually runt short of minutes often helps see who and what accomplishments you will remember when you are 150 years old.
And yes, I believe you are living in the age where those you take care of themselves will live longer than those who don't.

just mere hundred years ago the average lifespan was 32 or something similar. Thinking of your future self will make you step up for what matters, and let go what doesn't.

But also in the short run.
Thinking about a deadline this week, and in case you need to reprioritize a day or two before that.
Where would you rather leave them if so?
Often reminding ourself of that we might run short of time preparing or doing what we should helps us see our accomplishments in a new light. often it also helps us see the one we are helping in another light as well.

Mind your minutes, its the most finite resource you have to give, and you will never get any wasted back (but perhaps a lesson learned but thats for another cast?)

Dont fool yourself. Describe to both yourself AND those you care about what you observe. You might not be as aware as you want to believe.
Embrace your passion but dont let that get in the way of embracing a smarter prediction

Who do you know that you can teach something right now?

Self doubt?
Depression?
Afraid of rejection?

Listen to those parts inside yourself - then please remind yourself about the alternative cost of the individual who might have benefitted if you did ship this today.

Perhaps asking yourself this helps? How can you

Make the steps smaller
Make the steps different
Make the who different

 

Stop listening to this podcast right now and call someone with a tip or just a listening caring ear.

You are more needed than you know, yet you might need to try something else to help.

The power of I dont know and default models around uncertainty & risk
 
We need to teach It's OK to say, "I don't know but I could look into it for you before friday" but also teach to separate uncertainty and risk.
likewise teach those around you that dubt and uncertainty is welcome. Its not to be feared but then as a leader we need to reward the effort and the bet in a decision, not just the outcome.

What is not surrounded by uncertainty cannot be the truth.

accepting and clearly stating I dont know when we dont, lend us credibility when we say we do and we will.

We also need to accept the really strong power of defaults for when its uncertain and risky. Dont just reward the positive choices.
 
For example in computing:
 The power of default. if there is no specified models for for THIS server we just found on the network we make it a member of model X.
 
Dont build your I dont know on positive choices
for all X we do A for all Y we do B that will leave you with servers
same with following up incidents
same with following up leads

Only then can we ask ourselvese: "Did it work for its intended?"
 or what happened? Scope creep? lack of courage? to much courage and to little data? or whats the lesson for next your next bet on the outcome that matters for the process you're working on?
 
embracing reality, theoriy, antithesis, experiments and data
 
It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, You need to re-learn what you think you know. Please work hard to surround yourself with people who live that mindset instead of behaving in other ways.

Makers Dance and rhythm of Real Feedback of those you help

You’re living and working in a circle; your work is never the end station. What you make is the steppingstone for other creations. Just like yours depend on those who’s created before you.

Learn to work with automations, machine learning models and other people in a healthy generous circle.

Book mentioned in this episode

Kevin-Kelly - The Inevitable - what technology wants

https://www.amazon.com/The-Inevitable-Kevin-Kelly-audiobook/dp/B01EB3OR32

Annie Duke - Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away

https://www.amazon.com/Quit-Power-Knowing-When-Walk/dp/B09PVR6YK5

Healthy Questions: what is Facts, assumptions, beliefs, whom is it for, what is it for & did it work?

Become better at solving bigger problems for people who see, care and can - 2h Keynote at Consultants Conference

You become the company you keep. Work hard to work WITH people who wants to solve hard problems together with you, rather than for you or in silos.

Some thoughts about owning your posture, position & pattern

Looking for patthers that got you here instead of blaming other people

Owning your worth Ethics, your commitments

inentionally choosing to invest in people who care with their actions not just words

intentionall invest in yourself by doing things with a set date

Trident people, process and technology

this trio is so interesting in high performing organizations
for optimizing the triple point of people, process and technology.

its really a very circular motion, which each part stabilizing and increasing the effect out of the other two as the spire scale upwards.

 

Here's the link to a presentation I've done a few times on another set of 3:

 

confidentiality integrity and avilability when it comes to IT and organisations.

 

CIA - What IT gets to work with. Some thought on patters and priorities

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whx7YKt7PQc

Some great people and links mentioned in this episode

Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker
https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Oneself-Harvard-Business-Classics/dp/142212312X

all books by Cal Newport: outcome, timeblocking and process workfocus instead of email
https://www.calnewport.com/books/a-world-without-email

Free Time with Jenny Blake
https://itsfreetime.com/book

Time Wise by Amantha Imber
https://www.amantha.com/time-wise-book

indistractible by Nir Eyal
https://www.nirandfar.com/indistractable

 

--
youtube
Help! My Productivity System Is Failing Call Newport
2022-08-12, 8min
https://youtu.be/xjjBr7lcdqM

 

Tiago Forte | Building a Second Brain
2022-07-26, 59min
https://youtu.be/Y86GOtc1KNo

 

Annie Murphy Paul The Extended Mind
2022-06-22, 1h02min
https://youtu.be/Nf2a3XAZugU

How the Brain Works: The Thousand Brains Theory of Intelligence
2022-04-05, 47min
https://youtu.be/LaAYuygr7_8

its your job to position yourself where you have options that helps others AND yourself. Thats the path toward word that fulfil you and matters for people that care about having that work done.

 

Focusing on elevating others by creating better options, more options for others is one of the best ways.

More is not better than better. Better is better than more.

Why is More options important though? Because you dont always know what better for other people looks like.
You dont know how it is working for you. You know what you believe, not their reality.

more options also have the benefit of making space for opportunity to help others AND yourself.

If behaviour dont change, no lessons have been learned.

Are you paying attention on what those moving on tell you?

Are you paying attention to what signal not listening or worse sends,
or the even stronger signal caring for those leveling beyond you sends?

Some thoughts on processes, outcomes and vanity metrics

its easy to believe Metrics, KPI, OKR etc is about the event, the timintervall its for.
Yet in 99% its about the purpose and intent of WHY your focusing AND communication THAT Metric.
Help others see the context and purpose. Be clear on how they will know it its WORKING for that purpose or not.
Might also be that concent wise you could use it for another purpose, with tremendous revenue should yuo but legally you cant. So declaring intent both for the knowledge management, effective use for the organisation AND for your customers so they can opt IN should that be in your joined interested is important.

Likewise with communcation internally. Just because you've written a guide for it, or a policy for it or whatever if you notice what needs to happen doesnt happen it doesnt matter that you said it.
What matters is did you take responsibility for what needs to happen happens.
Do you take responsibility for the effectiveness of your metric or your words?
Can you say its working or not in a way that is clear for those its serving, your employees, your customers, your stake-holders?

If you embrace communications, metrics and words more like a process that HAS TO start with an intent AND ends with a clear "how do we know if its working, how do we know when to quit" they serve everyone involved better.

if you're not clear on this - most likly its a vanity metrics.
Something invented to make you feel good from the platform benefitting from it, not you, nor the platforms users or its middlemanagement-ware - metrics leaders in between customers, employees and top management "invented" because they believed it helped a cause, helped someone look good, status - often created with a great intent then slowly over time turned into something else thats why the "when to quit" and "how do we know its working for its intended use" context for it.
Share what your learn as you montitor AND ACT on that which you follow up on.

Helping others a choice that is not about doing big things once.
its about your intention to do something for someone else now, today, recurringly.

For who'm and for what cause might change but keep giving, shipping and sharing what you see that elevates others.

Dare too see who uses what you teach to elevate others in turn, so your help amplifies instead of staying with just the one.

but "just" the one is where we all start, every day.

Focus on the one in front of you. 
Focus on what you learn by teaching, and then take responsibility for whats working and whats not in the way you teach. Be kind to yourself and alllow the small steps.

 

 

Just following up on some listener questions on previous episodes with a few examples.

If you're heading into vacation mode soon please create some space for yourself to explore your feelings and your own thoughts and patterns.

 

This space doesnt create itself just because you go on vacation.

You need to make it happen, and not just for you but also for those in your care.

Today however cyberspace lets you pull ideas for what better looks like everywhere
instead of in the industral age where the boss tried to teach you what they knew

Help those around you create knowledge bases that others can pull from.

Help those you work with create remarkable space and a place to pull the work that matter for (Kanban or anything help focus and asyncronus value creator and doesnt expect contact switching like email or meetings just because someone has the status to push you into one instead of sending a memo of what matters)

Most work a knowledge worker does has a time-intervall to it.

Rarely does you instantly act on a book you read - instead you pull from the books wisdom when your work benefits from it.

Rarely does your urgent high-noise task mean important for the long-run. You need to learn to pull from both stacks of work.

As the work becomes smaller and more and more work is expected learning to pull forth the work that matter, and help others create assets and knowledge management that works for them becomes critical. if you dont set personal boundaries and allow people to push things onto your plate without filtering you will loose all the work that really matter longterm.

Work to see the pull and the push in your life. Help other see that dance and the tension between them. 
Help others create space for creating a space from where they can pull forth to create their own future, and in doing so they will help elevate those around them

 

ps. Sorry for the audio. This is the first recording on rodecaster2 after using the rodecaster1 so I have some new stuff to learn

Skills, Decisions and organisations all are containsers rich with sunsets, fatigue and the halflife of enthusiasm.

How come we dont talk about those when we could so we can focus on that which matter, accepting reality in the time-interval that might be?

Results & Relationships
Predictions & Gifts

You're living in a prediction

Everything around you is based on predictions you've made.
We surely get so much wrong versus the prediction but great enough to be happy anyway.
(and quite often fool ourselve into it was a choice and intentional, not a bet and perhaps less intentionally)

Getting a House
Getting a Job
Getting a kid
Getting a spouse

Learning a craft
Giving something away - hoping it will be used not just put into a drawer or sold without changing something for the better for the one you gave it to

Diving deeper thought
Everything around you is also a gift from your former self

We cant look in the rear mirror for a guarantee answer
I love data, but its not all.
I dont believe you'll totally change something without data, but just because you have data prooving a change is needed doesnt mean it will happen

you can choose to commit, or let go.
What got you here wont get those you serve there.
what has got to go? what has to change, if any?

Ideas on the line

Thoughts on ideas that I got wrong for most of my life is (and sometime still do)

* You need to put yourself on the line for experiminting outside of those. I kept wishing I would find this "big AND safe" idea on my safe side of the line.

* Distruptive and really great ideas never have guaranties, proof and deniability. Yet I find myself waiting for trying to find one that have at least one of that bad trio.

* if it was that simple someone would have done it already. Why do I still keep trying to find a simple one?

* I thought the idea had to be unique, new and fresh.
Now I find it so much easier to say its "like this" slightly changed for.. Sort of putting your idea on the line next to another genre, book, industry or whatever then taking just a small step from there into the new thing. 
The mistake I keep doing is jumping into the new idea without connecting it to existing things for those Im talking with.

* Analytic's is not a guarantee for the future. Dare to make an assertion. work to figure out if its working and help those you serve see what you see.
I trust data, but its not everything.

* Leadership is NOT asking your team to give you X options and you choose the best one.
If that was all it took, your team doesnt need you.
The idea that matters are not that simple. 
Be kind to yourself and create something real for those you want to help so you can test if its working for them.

.. and a small rant on agile, MVP and what a focus on viable instead of minumum product might mean for those you serve.

Become Better at what - 
Thinking about Minimum Viable Product, and Viable Skills longterm

Your calendar and priorites tell a tale of your future

if most of your day is meetings you most likley will become better at sitting in meetings.

Ask yourself why you didnt send a memo instead. Clearer and saves everyone involved alot of time.

If not - whats that about and whats the skill there'in you want to become better at?

From the outside it might look like you're taking a very long crashboarse into how to work with wague unclear people. 
Thats gimping your results.

or the opposite.
If you're programming for the same ecommerce platform again and again without no real intention.

Like Bruce lee said.
I fear not the one who have practiced a thousand kicks
I fear the one who have practiced ONE kick a thousand times.

but just doing what youre told as programmer is NOT putting yourself on the line in making better stuff so what IS that think you want to learn to be better at in your elite code-skills

in agile we talk alot about Minumum Viable Product
We dont focus our effort enough on the Viable part

Viable means its actually helping the client get to where they need to go, from where they are. Scrappy solutions are ok to start with but focus on the actual customer 
Not just that you moved something forward towards green.

in data definitions are everything and rarely do we take enough time to understand if we think the same about what goes into a value and what is NOT included into that value.

What do you think about on these words for example?

Projects
Goals
Strategy
Actionable Analtytics
KPIS

Whats the verb they contain and their net effect?
Whats their promise to those you serve and to yourself?
Whats NOT included in them, what do you inentionally let go in order to get done what matters?

what has to be true in order for these to work
What can we wait with while prioritizing what
if everything is a priority nothing is a priority
is a strategy is just words its not a strategy
if tactics cant be quit and replaced you're now following a strategy
Often you dont need better data, bigger budget or waiting for the next project.
you just just better leadership and clarity.
How can you help those that matters see what they need to see?

 

 

My thoughts are that 

* a goal without commitment and a project is a dream. Important to have but not work or something you're putting yourself on the line for.

* a project without a goal is a hobbie. Important to have but you're unlikly to have an impact.

* Strategy without clear above points are just illusions and bad leadership.
A busines plan with numbers on them without data on actual paying customers or actions to exerpiment with is just wishful thinking - not a strategy, nor a tactic.

Ask yourself. Who needs to see what you see in order to make change happen where it matters while there is still time to change direction of this ship? and who will thank you for bringing that tension onboard and who will not?

What's your definition of kind?

Sometimes I need to remind myself that tension is needed for change, frictionfree is rarely kind.

Sometimes I need to remind myself that candor is needed for change, holding it in because of fear might not be kind.

What does kindness look like for you?

Who among you inspire you to be kind and what do they do? and what effects does their actions bring those they're kind to?

get the work that matters done for those who care but dont forget to to put yourself for both getting the job done, learn on that job, and share what you've learned.

its your responsibility to both yourself and those you want to serve to put yourself in those positions again and again.

Constraints are just bags with and within other bags of constraints - use it!

 

 

I'm sorry but I'm sick during the recording and you can tell. I'm also using a cleanly installed computer making the audio settings a bit different until I make time to set them.

Still - hope it helps

 

 

Create Results to Connect and elevate others For longlasting relationships

Embrace uncertainty for great results & healthy relationships.

Here we ask ourselves hard questions and embrace serious commitments. For a life with lots of fun play, long-lasting relationships, and legacy-worthy results.

Accepting Reality, Data, and that not everything matters.

Connecting, elevating, enrolling those who care.

Its spirals and circles.

Relationships are a gift we can not take for granted, none of us.

Results are something anyone can do independently of where we are on any kind of “ladder” we call can do, however small if we just choose to care. What small thing can you do today to help connect and elevate someone else?

Explore thyself, harness data. Dare to experiment. Evaluate accepting multiple axes for what better looks like.

Be kind to others, and yourself, 

by putting yourself on the line for those who care

(this podcast was before known as "Relationship Power at work")

Someone once said. Life is an empty bag and it's your job to fill it purposely and wisely.

For a long time I believed that meant to fill it richly, with great friends and work that really, honestly mattered to those I serve.

What I missed is that the choice where something belongs is a choice you make BEFORE choosing and creating space for the bag, not when it's too full for effective work or whatever the purpose of the bag is.

if you know what each bag is for, and its containers choosing to NOT move it to another bag instead of dealing with it is a lot easier once it gets fuller than ideal.

Not having made the choice early and trying to squeeze your favorite into a full bag is really really emotionally hard. Yet that's how I and most I know often do it.

Buying a new bag/storage isnt a long-term solution.
Likewise not using the important bags for making space for what matters recurringly.

Constraints are your friend. Lean onto them to help yourself and others earlier, not later.

Are you reserving some of your capacity for enabling others without you trading time to help them get to where they need?

What are you teaching whom right now?

Every moment is an open possibility for kindness to others and yourself,
for coaching
for committing yourself for those you care about
dont wait for the big thing
make the small moments matter, again and again.

Do you see what matters to those you serve or are you investing in your own illusions and biases?

What pieces have to exist in order for your strategy to work longterm?

What pieces might exist that you are not seeing and what are you doing to become aware?

What pieces does other need to see in order to get to where they are going?

 

We never see all the pieces that matter, but accepting there is more than we know helps. accepting the uncertainty of what we see and dont see helps free up alot

just a long list of questions to make our heart and mind rest while looking within and beyond

Please help remind those you care about to protect their accounts & devices with Multifactor authentication everywhere.

Seek out ways to stay safe, helping those who you believe dont have the knowledge or capacity.

its always been urgent. Now you cant afford to wait any more. Help save others by lending a nudge, insight or knowledge.

in cyber distance is an illusion and the forces are unreal with very real consequence for you.

Seeing, asking and facing what isn't being said by lifting the Question

How often to you actually pause and make space for yourself to know your position before answering? How often do you refocus on why that ask you for a recommendation?

WHY they are asking in the first place? what is is the ask for a recommended for? 

Why do they ask you? Why now? Where are they now and do you see clearly where they want to go?

Whats your position in the recommendation? You're not in their shoes. Dont let them drag you there. Surely have empathy for their position but remain in yours.

That said said, respectfully levelup their question in a way you think will help them get from where they are and where they want to go. Dont settle for detours.

 

No one care how much effort you invested - they care about how it can help them from where they are to where they are going

release freely and often. if your idea is all you've got you've got nothing. share it with those who need it and embrace reality.

if you have to lock in knowledge you're turning into a commodity. like the hackers in the 80th used to say. information want to be free

deliberately put time-blocks onto your calendar to practice with the intent to throw away

Do things early enough with margins to let go.  create remarkable space for opportunity.  put yourself in a position where your effort matters and get evaluated by those you want to help

time-blocking, intentional action, reflecting on outcome is key. How often do you do it like that?

Dont store - Create, Release, Reflect

So its set. This show will be renamed Results & Relationships.

Why? Im hoping to help you let go of what you make.
Create it with your intent and then release it.

this show isnt just for me. The simpler name might help those its for. you.

Just like everything you create.
Lots of the stuff wont become a recurring growing assets.
but once it does, its important to remember to release it.
its no longer just for you.

Likewise do I hope to inspire you to be kind to yourself when beginning.
its impossible to know what it will become, and whom will have the best effects from your generosity.

sure its important to have an intent, a purpose and an idea if what its for is working.
and that cant happen without an idea who its for

but your work will change, and who its really for will change as you learn more.

Going back to Results & Relationships.
I think its important you think about the ratio in everything.
The highest paid programmers arnt the one writing the best code alone, they get the people and invest time and effort there too.
they get the business and help elevate the people needed to get there.

Making a real big difference is alwawys a dance between multiple axises, multiple metrics es.
Just one thing alone is not enough..

For example we steal from our selves.

write or market - instead of writting better.

write closedloop - a novel in the closet 
you need to you work where you get real life feedback.
write with some sort of notion to check if its working with what its for.

dont look for the silver bullet
dont think you will hack the system and just find the publisher
just get picked with whatever.

keep doing some work thats helping some real cause, person.
if you are not ready to be public about it. just give it into the hands of those you think it will help.

Dare to be specific and clear enough to create tension. Be respectful to those you serve, and those around you and yourself. Dare to show the tension early saves so many so much - its an huge alternative cost for us people pleasers who rather save those tough confrontative talks for tomorrow. Thinking we're doing the generous thing to have more details, habits, patterns for when we adress it.. yet often resulting in a big cost of delay or ourselves realizing to late that we're serving the wrong thing to long.

(I just realized I published this episode to my other podcast, Psychology & Cyber thus just uploading it here as a copy. Sorry for the delay and mistake on my side)

 

Ready is a choice, it not worth waiting for.

Do you regularly invest time with people who:
* claim ready enough for action even while uncertain?
* do work that matter for them regularly?
* Dare find out if those they seek to serve care about having that work done?`

What does Ready mean to you? often we forget to ask this critical question.
* when its ready - will you see it or find another thing to polish?
* out of time DOES NOT mean ready, yet often thats where we end up without intention
* Are you ready to listen to feedback?
* is the person you’re talking to ready to listen?
* if all you want to do is tell others of facts they can loop up facts if they cared, if they dont care you're not ready to help them
* life is short, we all will die. You're already self-employed for life AND other things in-between that. When will be you be ready to act like it?
* is ready for those its for, or for you?

Whats worth being ready for?
Whats worth saying no to so you can be ready for it?
So whats stopping you? Go Get it for those that care

 

Often Ready means too late. What would some early real life, real customer feedback mean for your work?

Remarkable Position and easy to say name change

It's been 8 years already with Relationship Power at work. Every week. Some of the early years it was more often.
Before that this pod was called "Levelup at work and ingame".
That's why the libsyn url is called gaming even if all those episodes are lost now due to my own newbie mistakes with an RSS feed change.

I've been wondering if we should rename this thing to Results & Relationship. What do you think oh most splendid of listener?

When I started our pod was primarily for computer leaders using the words direct, Relationship Power and such.
To figure out untrained empathy and relationships skills. Combined their already powerful data mojo. 
I myself hid behind computers for the longest time. That made me powerful in a lot of aspects and fearful in my many untrained areas.

Over the years I observed others, and myself struggle saying the phrase "Relationship Power at work"

Thus the intention with the name change is to making it easier to name this thing of ours. Its nothing bigger or more complicated than that. I'm sharing the process to help you see. Whatever you make it will also change as you learn more about it and those you serve. Getting started early embracing reality instead of staying in your head is critical. Im hoping sharing what I missed from starting helps unlock you. Free you to give whatever is rattling in your head a try.

Why Results first in the name?
 
I love that anyone can intentionally create results based on where they start in life. Independent where we currently are. Independent of what we where given we can all work on figuring out what we can give, create or teach.
its a lottery what relationship we get to start life with. its a choice what results we work hard and long for and what company we keep.
I love that results is an open way to healthy long-lasting relationships. You cant control relationships and the opening of doors. Yet you can control what you create and invest emotional labor into, and for whom's benefit.

Your reputation precedes you. Its nothing new but more urgent than ever with the ever-present machine learning.
Soon your results will be auto-presented in front of any person you meet via their AR devices. Of whoever you meet in real life by default. Even so before you get to chance to meet.

Your results is one of the most Key factors setting the options for who you get to build relationships with.
Its surely not the most important thing. Love, care & relationships are. Yet without results is hard to get the freedom to sustain that dream of yours and the dreams of those you care about.

Results. Done well and generous are also something others feel good about remarking on. Good for their own benefit (self image, status and possibilities) as well that remark benefitting their friend and you.

Owning your choice of context, your patterns and positions from which to serve.

Are you owning your choice of context?
Do you position yourself with people and situations that are likely to help others long-term and effectively?

Are you diving into your context to find the context within the context of what truly matter to those you seek to serve?