You dont get time back, neither do they.
Help those who give anyway at the edge of their skillset learning while giving it to others.

 

You dont get to do "now" or "tomorrow" all over again. So where and with whom do you want to invest your time and effort?

Where do you want to be position yourself and others skillswise for the benefit of whom in a future Now?

Whats Next? An Intention and its Experiment of course with Inside out Career Design

I just had a great conversation with Nicola and Peter at Inside Out Career Design

its never to early or to late to start an experiment

Inside Out Career Design can be found here
http://whatsnext.com/17


Passphrase Manager
https://bitwarden.com


Multifactor App Authenticators
https://www.microsoft.com/security/mobile-authenticator-app

https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/1066447 

Understand what game you are playing and dont go for fancy tactical moves sacrificing effort and learning serving people here and now.
Here and now is the better way to learn what works and what doesnt for the people who care.
Often the fancy tactics is just a form of hiding, and often you loose time to the alternatice cost of showing up today, in the precent for those who already care.

And some business and chess talk just to illustrate the point in how little can give so much for someone you care about.

 

Seth Godin, Boardgames, Showing up on the regular & leading together
Are you showing up on the regular for those you serve?
Choose a game that you are not often distracted from.

Whats worth being sticky to you and for what and whom?
Whats sticky around you that you dont think enough on right now?

On some small level most uf us understand that the internet never forgets and that algorithms can push us to extremes.
Yet we dont embrace how powerful a force this is for both greatness and levelup AND pulling us back into the rabithole again and again.

What am I stalling because Im afraid?

Whats the promise to make now, to whom

Welcome to Results and Relationships 

Today some thoughts on data-driven illusions and how they can impact our lives.

With my 29 years of experience as a consultant in the data information analytics & cyber protection industry, I'm often been asked questions about data-driven decisions.

What I think isn't being said often enough is that we should dare to discuss our vulnerabilities. We should talk about what we don't know and what controls us, as it's often the case that we don't fully understand our metrics or the connection between business outcome vulnerabilities.

Additionally, I'm very interested in cybersecurity, but we often don't have a strategy for how to best work with it. 
Decisions are made on a daily basis with legacy systems that we don't fully understand, thus the full implications of these decisions. As a result, we make compromises that can have long-lasting repercussions.

Whether you are building something right now or not, it's important to consider the data-driven illusions that are impacting your decisions. Likewise dont let your hunger for more data stop you from shipping right now.

What's not being said is that we have to dare to bring up our vulnerabilities and what we don't know. We don't fully understand our metrics and the connections between them and business outcomes. 

We also need to talk about cybersecurity and how to strategize around it. We often have to make decisions on outdated systems, which can be a challenge. This leads to a lot of compromises. 

Even if you're starting a new project, you need to be mindful of the data-driven illusions and vulnerabilities involved. Dare to talk about what you don't know and take steps to protect your business outcomes.

Today I share an answer I did for a friend’s question on our Voxer group earlier today.
Another friend suggested I should give you my esteemed listener into this part of me.

The “real-life part of me” so to say – where I don’t have the tension of the microphone, thinking out out loud and slow answering a friend’s prompt.

Whats my source of great results & healthy relationships and some answers on my thoughts on religious belief

before attaching it though, here is a summary of my audio that a third friend made for us, very slightly edited by myself for this podcast

* BELIEVE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, work hard on letting go what doesn’t

* Stories are powerful, but Truth is never pure and easy.

* In our "narrative", we tend to simplify things to remove the more painful parts.  We then choose our stories over Truth.

* YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF YOUR TIME, EFFORT, ENERGY, and your relationships.

Those around you dont get you angry. You choose you who surround yourself with after seeing their pattern. Then you made yourself angry all on your own.

* I don't see the world as it is, I see the world as I interpret it.

* "stories are my source."

* Anti – Thesis. Dare to explore both, without it it’s not really a choice, you're just blindsiding yourself fooling yourself you made a choice.

 

 

Big credits to this great book for much of the thoughts in this episode

https://www.amazon.com/The-Big-Leap-Gay-Hendricks-audiobook/dp/B00282MRQI

Probability & Meaningful Specific

Are you questioning how the three core components of probability, meaning, and specificity can be applied to the work you do?

Are you looking at how these three aspects drive your decisions, both intentionally and unintentionally? Are you taking the time to consider what the biggest impact of your work is, and how the probability, meaning, and specificity of your decisions will affect the outcome? Are you willing to put in the extra effort to ensure that you have the right focus and clarity to make the best decisions possible and accept the consequences - both good and bad - of those decisions?

Are you asking questions about above three in what you to those around you?

Are you asking yourself what goes into the heart or mind into whatever action, intentional or not from those around you based on this trio?

Take a minute and ask yourself on the biggest thing in your work right now. 

* Focusing on Probability - what shifts?

* in the meaning beyond the work you do - or asked to do?

* The specific - do you dare to make it small and specific enough so you can take credit if it works, or responsibility if it doesnt?

Quite often its scary to put ourselves on the line like this, but if we do dare, we learn faster and thus help others better

books mentioned:

Annie Duke - Thinking in bets
https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-in-Bets-Annie-Duke-audiobook/dp/B078SBSBW3

machines are talking - are you listening?

I try to have these cast mostly timeless, and less timely but I’ve gotten so much machine-learning & AI questions lately and I thought I should share a perspective I don’t hear that often.
Surely we’ve on a journey where each version have more and more data and being trained on the previous version. Making it very fast and scaringly biased.

The thing I believe we underestimate is the “Explain like talking to a five year old” combined with the relentlessness of machines and scripts.

For example with DISC we already tools like https://crystalknows.com that helps you adapt your message to the individual to make it easier for the recipient to understand what you’re trying to say. We have already since long trusted https://grammarly.com that there is a better way of saying this than what we wrote.

Now we can have our email to ten people be automatically rewritten in transport to the sugsegment of those groups. Perhaps this time it created three copies and sent the one most maching the communication profile of the recipient. This will be so effective since it can also help you follow-up “did it work” making each interaction more effective for both of you.

It can help you stay in tune with the workculture. Perhaps help you with your priorities for better effect and outcome at work by not letting you send late night messages, or if you believe you have to let them arrive at your co-workers desk in the morning. Again these tools exist, however machinelearning make you never forget to match whats effective and appreciated by each recipient.

Likewise if you go into Red Alert mode a la Star Trek, the machinelearning mod can temporarily overwrite that to instant say before a launch or similar, following up on the costs of doing so for you.
Or ensuring its automatically turned on again after the launch etc.
Us humans take a long time forming new habits and can break them instantly. Tools like this can help us stay focused on what matter if we temporarily need a detour from our priorities by reminding us. OR forcing us to face that we’ve changed our mind and instead embrace another goal in mind with our habits etc.

I believe this will help but it’s a twosided sword. Not all is great with it. For example it will make it even easier to tailormake timely, relevant messages with ill intent that isn’t as easily caught by the systems trying to protect you, including your own perhaps because the message is referencing something timely your co-worker or supplier said that is related to you but you wouldn’t say that out but you’re already connected and profiled out there on the web.
Next time you’re using tools like this. 

Be mindful of your use of them. Listen for what you are training them ON – its not just that you’re getting help, it’s a win-win-win where you don’t see the third party ever.

 

sunc costs is nothing more than gifts from your former you to yourself in the present.

if you recieved it fresh today
would you pick it up?

Are you making your choice about today and tomorrow for those you serve, including yourself or are you making it about your history or ego?

Try the road less beaten

 

Books recommended in this cast in case you dont have time to listen.

The Midnight Library

https://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Library-Novel-Matt-Haig/dp/0525559477

How to decide
https://www.amazon.com/How-Decide-Simple-Making-Choices/dp/B088P4XLVB

 

Embracing constraints can be a powerful tool to help us create better solutions. It is not the same as arguing for their limitations, which can be counterproductive and lead to stagnation. Instead, by understanding and accepting the boundaries of a situation, we are able to find creative and innovative solutions that can help us move forward. By accepting and understanding the limitations of a situation, we can challenge ourselves to come up with solutions that work within those limits, while still achieving the desired outcome.

 

As a computer person, you may find yourself using the command prompt and notepad often, because you appreciate the power of arguments and patterns to achieve certain outcomes. And you adapt quickly when a parameter is nerfed, removed or changed. When it comes to people, however, it is important to recognize that the same argument may not work each time. Instead of getting stuck in a loop of trying the same argument, or the same person try speaking out loud what might work, or why you might be wrong. By embracing constraints, you can find new and better ways to connect with people, rather than continuing to arguing in loops without connecting, or without finding other people to help that appreciate AND act on the help you provide.

The Spiral of Results & Relationships:

What have you done and how well have you done it & and who cares deeply about it?

Great work is rewarded by more work.
Who do you want to service so they're getting what?

 

Thank you everyone for letting me know I missed last week.
This this short one

Minding your relationships is a given. But have you given any thought to how much they affect your habits, your greenstreaks your levelups?

You have way more minutes in your day to day life available to you that you thing.
They are just easily given to distractions or just not thinking about it and thus not thinking about how much such minutes we all have every year.

Train a habit of start writing or adding to a project of your chose when you find yourself waiting for a meeting to start, or things are delayed and you have to wait. Instead of just "see what's new", give yourself the gift of having written a few sentence, made a notes on the next design etc or whatever you are creating.

Once you have a bigger block of time you have something to start from helping momentum alot.

Reminding us of that we will eventually runt short of minutes often helps see who and what accomplishments you will remember when you are 150 years old.
And yes, I believe you are living in the age where those you take care of themselves will live longer than those who don't.

just mere hundred years ago the average lifespan was 32 or something similar. Thinking of your future self will make you step up for what matters, and let go what doesn't.

But also in the short run.
Thinking about a deadline this week, and in case you need to reprioritize a day or two before that.
Where would you rather leave them if so?
Often reminding ourself of that we might run short of time preparing or doing what we should helps us see our accomplishments in a new light. often it also helps us see the one we are helping in another light as well.

Mind your minutes, its the most finite resource you have to give, and you will never get any wasted back (but perhaps a lesson learned but thats for another cast?)

Dont fool yourself. Describe to both yourself AND those you care about what you observe. You might not be as aware as you want to believe.
Embrace your passion but dont let that get in the way of embracing a smarter prediction

Who do you know that you can teach something right now?

Self doubt?
Depression?
Afraid of rejection?

Listen to those parts inside yourself - then please remind yourself about the alternative cost of the individual who might have benefitted if you did ship this today.

Perhaps asking yourself this helps? How can you

Make the steps smaller
Make the steps different
Make the who different

 

Stop listening to this podcast right now and call someone with a tip or just a listening caring ear.

You are more needed than you know, yet you might need to try something else to help.

The power of I dont know and default models around uncertainty & risk
 
We need to teach It's OK to say, "I don't know but I could look into it for you before friday" but also teach to separate uncertainty and risk.
likewise teach those around you that dubt and uncertainty is welcome. Its not to be feared but then as a leader we need to reward the effort and the bet in a decision, not just the outcome.

What is not surrounded by uncertainty cannot be the truth.

accepting and clearly stating I dont know when we dont, lend us credibility when we say we do and we will.

We also need to accept the really strong power of defaults for when its uncertain and risky. Dont just reward the positive choices.
 
For example in computing:
 The power of default. if there is no specified models for for THIS server we just found on the network we make it a member of model X.
 
Dont build your I dont know on positive choices
for all X we do A for all Y we do B that will leave you with servers
same with following up incidents
same with following up leads

Only then can we ask ourselvese: "Did it work for its intended?"
 or what happened? Scope creep? lack of courage? to much courage and to little data? or whats the lesson for next your next bet on the outcome that matters for the process you're working on?
 
embracing reality, theoriy, antithesis, experiments and data
 
It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, You need to re-learn what you think you know. Please work hard to surround yourself with people who live that mindset instead of behaving in other ways.

Makers Dance and rhythm of Real Feedback of those you help

You’re living and working in a circle; your work is never the end station. What you make is the steppingstone for other creations. Just like yours depend on those who’s created before you.

Learn to work with automations, machine learning models and other people in a healthy generous circle.

Book mentioned in this episode

Kevin-Kelly - The Inevitable - what technology wants

https://www.amazon.com/The-Inevitable-Kevin-Kelly-audiobook/dp/B01EB3OR32

Annie Duke - Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away

https://www.amazon.com/Quit-Power-Knowing-When-Walk/dp/B09PVR6YK5

Healthy Questions: what is Facts, assumptions, beliefs, whom is it for, what is it for & did it work?

Become better at solving bigger problems for people who see, care and can - 2h Keynote at Consultants Conference

You become the company you keep. Work hard to work WITH people who wants to solve hard problems together with you, rather than for you or in silos.

Some thoughts about owning your posture, position & pattern

Looking for patthers that got you here instead of blaming other people

Owning your worth Ethics, your commitments

inentionally choosing to invest in people who care with their actions not just words

intentionall invest in yourself by doing things with a set date

Trident people, process and technology

this trio is so interesting in high performing organizations
for optimizing the triple point of people, process and technology.

its really a very circular motion, which each part stabilizing and increasing the effect out of the other two as the spire scale upwards.

 

Here's the link to a presentation I've done a few times on another set of 3:

 

confidentiality integrity and avilability when it comes to IT and organisations.

 

CIA - What IT gets to work with. Some thought on patters and priorities

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whx7YKt7PQc

Some great people and links mentioned in this episode

Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker
https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Oneself-Harvard-Business-Classics/dp/142212312X

all books by Cal Newport: outcome, timeblocking and process workfocus instead of email
https://www.calnewport.com/books/a-world-without-email

Free Time with Jenny Blake
https://itsfreetime.com/book

Time Wise by Amantha Imber
https://www.amantha.com/time-wise-book

indistractible by Nir Eyal
https://www.nirandfar.com/indistractable

 

--
youtube
Help! My Productivity System Is Failing Call Newport
2022-08-12, 8min
https://youtu.be/xjjBr7lcdqM

 

Tiago Forte | Building a Second Brain
2022-07-26, 59min
https://youtu.be/Y86GOtc1KNo

 

Annie Murphy Paul The Extended Mind
2022-06-22, 1h02min
https://youtu.be/Nf2a3XAZugU

How the Brain Works: The Thousand Brains Theory of Intelligence
2022-04-05, 47min
https://youtu.be/LaAYuygr7_8

its your job to position yourself where you have options that helps others AND yourself. Thats the path toward word that fulfil you and matters for people that care about having that work done.

 

Focusing on elevating others by creating better options, more options for others is one of the best ways.

More is not better than better. Better is better than more.

Why is More options important though? Because you dont always know what better for other people looks like.
You dont know how it is working for you. You know what you believe, not their reality.

more options also have the benefit of making space for opportunity to help others AND yourself.

If behaviour dont change, no lessons have been learned.

Are you paying attention on what those moving on tell you?

Are you paying attention to what signal not listening or worse sends,
or the even stronger signal caring for those leveling beyond you sends?

Some thoughts on processes, outcomes and vanity metrics

its easy to believe Metrics, KPI, OKR etc is about the event, the timintervall its for.
Yet in 99% its about the purpose and intent of WHY your focusing AND communication THAT Metric.
Help others see the context and purpose. Be clear on how they will know it its WORKING for that purpose or not.
Might also be that concent wise you could use it for another purpose, with tremendous revenue should yuo but legally you cant. So declaring intent both for the knowledge management, effective use for the organisation AND for your customers so they can opt IN should that be in your joined interested is important.

Likewise with communcation internally. Just because you've written a guide for it, or a policy for it or whatever if you notice what needs to happen doesnt happen it doesnt matter that you said it.
What matters is did you take responsibility for what needs to happen happens.
Do you take responsibility for the effectiveness of your metric or your words?
Can you say its working or not in a way that is clear for those its serving, your employees, your customers, your stake-holders?

If you embrace communications, metrics and words more like a process that HAS TO start with an intent AND ends with a clear "how do we know if its working, how do we know when to quit" they serve everyone involved better.

if you're not clear on this - most likly its a vanity metrics.
Something invented to make you feel good from the platform benefitting from it, not you, nor the platforms users or its middlemanagement-ware - metrics leaders in between customers, employees and top management "invented" because they believed it helped a cause, helped someone look good, status - often created with a great intent then slowly over time turned into something else thats why the "when to quit" and "how do we know its working for its intended use" context for it.
Share what your learn as you montitor AND ACT on that which you follow up on.

Helping others a choice that is not about doing big things once.
its about your intention to do something for someone else now, today, recurringly.

For who'm and for what cause might change but keep giving, shipping and sharing what you see that elevates others.

Dare too see who uses what you teach to elevate others in turn, so your help amplifies instead of staying with just the one.

but "just" the one is where we all start, every day.

Focus on the one in front of you. 
Focus on what you learn by teaching, and then take responsibility for whats working and whats not in the way you teach. Be kind to yourself and alllow the small steps.

 

 

Just following up on some listener questions on previous episodes with a few examples.

If you're heading into vacation mode soon please create some space for yourself to explore your feelings and your own thoughts and patterns.

 

This space doesnt create itself just because you go on vacation.

You need to make it happen, and not just for you but also for those in your care.

Today however cyberspace lets you pull ideas for what better looks like everywhere
instead of in the industral age where the boss tried to teach you what they knew

Help those around you create knowledge bases that others can pull from.

Help those you work with create remarkable space and a place to pull the work that matter for (Kanban or anything help focus and asyncronus value creator and doesnt expect contact switching like email or meetings just because someone has the status to push you into one instead of sending a memo of what matters)

Most work a knowledge worker does has a time-intervall to it.

Rarely does you instantly act on a book you read - instead you pull from the books wisdom when your work benefits from it.

Rarely does your urgent high-noise task mean important for the long-run. You need to learn to pull from both stacks of work.

As the work becomes smaller and more and more work is expected learning to pull forth the work that matter, and help others create assets and knowledge management that works for them becomes critical. if you dont set personal boundaries and allow people to push things onto your plate without filtering you will loose all the work that really matter longterm.

Work to see the pull and the push in your life. Help other see that dance and the tension between them. 
Help others create space for creating a space from where they can pull forth to create their own future, and in doing so they will help elevate those around them

 

ps. Sorry for the audio. This is the first recording on rodecaster2 after using the rodecaster1 so I have some new stuff to learn

Skills, Decisions and organisations all are containsers rich with sunsets, fatigue and the halflife of enthusiasm.

How come we dont talk about those when we could so we can focus on that which matter, accepting reality in the time-interval that might be?

Results & Relationships
Predictions & Gifts

You're living in a prediction

Everything around you is based on predictions you've made.
We surely get so much wrong versus the prediction but great enough to be happy anyway.
(and quite often fool ourselve into it was a choice and intentional, not a bet and perhaps less intentionally)

Getting a House
Getting a Job
Getting a kid
Getting a spouse

Learning a craft
Giving something away - hoping it will be used not just put into a drawer or sold without changing something for the better for the one you gave it to

Diving deeper thought
Everything around you is also a gift from your former self

We cant look in the rear mirror for a guarantee answer
I love data, but its not all.
I dont believe you'll totally change something without data, but just because you have data prooving a change is needed doesnt mean it will happen

you can choose to commit, or let go.
What got you here wont get those you serve there.
what has got to go? what has to change, if any?

Ideas on the line

Thoughts on ideas that I got wrong for most of my life is (and sometime still do)

* You need to put yourself on the line for experiminting outside of those. I kept wishing I would find this "big AND safe" idea on my safe side of the line.

* Distruptive and really great ideas never have guaranties, proof and deniability. Yet I find myself waiting for trying to find one that have at least one of that bad trio.

* if it was that simple someone would have done it already. Why do I still keep trying to find a simple one?

* I thought the idea had to be unique, new and fresh.
Now I find it so much easier to say its "like this" slightly changed for.. Sort of putting your idea on the line next to another genre, book, industry or whatever then taking just a small step from there into the new thing. 
The mistake I keep doing is jumping into the new idea without connecting it to existing things for those Im talking with.

* Analytic's is not a guarantee for the future. Dare to make an assertion. work to figure out if its working and help those you serve see what you see.
I trust data, but its not everything.

* Leadership is NOT asking your team to give you X options and you choose the best one.
If that was all it took, your team doesnt need you.
The idea that matters are not that simple. 
Be kind to yourself and create something real for those you want to help so you can test if its working for them.

.. and a small rant on agile, MVP and what a focus on viable instead of minumum product might mean for those you serve.

Become Better at what - 
Thinking about Minimum Viable Product, and Viable Skills longterm

Your calendar and priorites tell a tale of your future

if most of your day is meetings you most likley will become better at sitting in meetings.

Ask yourself why you didnt send a memo instead. Clearer and saves everyone involved alot of time.

If not - whats that about and whats the skill there'in you want to become better at?

From the outside it might look like you're taking a very long crashboarse into how to work with wague unclear people. 
Thats gimping your results.

or the opposite.
If you're programming for the same ecommerce platform again and again without no real intention.

Like Bruce lee said.
I fear not the one who have practiced a thousand kicks
I fear the one who have practiced ONE kick a thousand times.

but just doing what youre told as programmer is NOT putting yourself on the line in making better stuff so what IS that think you want to learn to be better at in your elite code-skills

in agile we talk alot about Minumum Viable Product
We dont focus our effort enough on the Viable part

Viable means its actually helping the client get to where they need to go, from where they are. Scrappy solutions are ok to start with but focus on the actual customer 
Not just that you moved something forward towards green.

in data definitions are everything and rarely do we take enough time to understand if we think the same about what goes into a value and what is NOT included into that value.

What do you think about on these words for example?

Projects
Goals
Strategy
Actionable Analtytics
KPIS

Whats the verb they contain and their net effect?
Whats their promise to those you serve and to yourself?
Whats NOT included in them, what do you inentionally let go in order to get done what matters?

what has to be true in order for these to work
What can we wait with while prioritizing what
if everything is a priority nothing is a priority
is a strategy is just words its not a strategy
if tactics cant be quit and replaced you're now following a strategy
Often you dont need better data, bigger budget or waiting for the next project.
you just just better leadership and clarity.
How can you help those that matters see what they need to see?

 

 

My thoughts are that 

* a goal without commitment and a project is a dream. Important to have but not work or something you're putting yourself on the line for.

* a project without a goal is a hobbie. Important to have but you're unlikly to have an impact.

* Strategy without clear above points are just illusions and bad leadership.
A busines plan with numbers on them without data on actual paying customers or actions to exerpiment with is just wishful thinking - not a strategy, nor a tactic.

Ask yourself. Who needs to see what you see in order to make change happen where it matters while there is still time to change direction of this ship? and who will thank you for bringing that tension onboard and who will not?

What's your definition of kind?

Sometimes I need to remind myself that tension is needed for change, frictionfree is rarely kind.

Sometimes I need to remind myself that candor is needed for change, holding it in because of fear might not be kind.

What does kindness look like for you?

Who among you inspire you to be kind and what do they do? and what effects does their actions bring those they're kind to?

get the work that matters done for those who care but dont forget to to put yourself for both getting the job done, learn on that job, and share what you've learned.

its your responsibility to both yourself and those you want to serve to put yourself in those positions again and again.

Constraints are just bags with and within other bags of constraints - use it!

 

 

I'm sorry but I'm sick during the recording and you can tell. I'm also using a cleanly installed computer making the audio settings a bit different until I make time to set them.

Still - hope it helps

 

 

Create Results to Connect and elevate others For longlasting relationships

Embrace uncertainty for great results & healthy relationships.

Here we ask ourselves hard questions and embrace serious commitments. For a life with lots of fun play, long-lasting relationships, and legacy-worthy results.

Accepting Reality, Data, and that not everything matters.

Connecting, elevating, enrolling those who care.

Its spirals and circles.

Relationships are a gift we can not take for granted, none of us.

Results are something anyone can do independently of where we are on any kind of “ladder” we call can do, however small if we just choose to care. What small thing can you do today to help connect and elevate someone else?

Explore thyself, harness data. Dare to experiment. Evaluate accepting multiple axes for what better looks like.

Be kind to others, and yourself, 

by putting yourself on the line for those who care

(this podcast was before known as "Relationship Power at work")

Someone once said. Life is an empty bag and it's your job to fill it purposely and wisely.

For a long time I believed that meant to fill it richly, with great friends and work that really, honestly mattered to those I serve.

What I missed is that the choice where something belongs is a choice you make BEFORE choosing and creating space for the bag, not when it's too full for effective work or whatever the purpose of the bag is.

if you know what each bag is for, and its containers choosing to NOT move it to another bag instead of dealing with it is a lot easier once it gets fuller than ideal.

Not having made the choice early and trying to squeeze your favorite into a full bag is really really emotionally hard. Yet that's how I and most I know often do it.

Buying a new bag/storage isnt a long-term solution.
Likewise not using the important bags for making space for what matters recurringly.

Constraints are your friend. Lean onto them to help yourself and others earlier, not later.

Are you reserving some of your capacity for enabling others without you trading time to help them get to where they need?

What are you teaching whom right now?

Every moment is an open possibility for kindness to others and yourself,
for coaching
for committing yourself for those you care about
dont wait for the big thing
make the small moments matter, again and again.

Do you see what matters to those you serve or are you investing in your own illusions and biases?

What pieces have to exist in order for your strategy to work longterm?

What pieces might exist that you are not seeing and what are you doing to become aware?

What pieces does other need to see in order to get to where they are going?

 

We never see all the pieces that matter, but accepting there is more than we know helps. accepting the uncertainty of what we see and dont see helps free up alot

just a long list of questions to make our heart and mind rest while looking within and beyond

Please help remind those you care about to protect their accounts & devices with Multifactor authentication everywhere.

Seek out ways to stay safe, helping those who you believe dont have the knowledge or capacity.

its always been urgent. Now you cant afford to wait any more. Help save others by lending a nudge, insight or knowledge.

in cyber distance is an illusion and the forces are unreal with very real consequence for you.

Seeing, asking and facing what isn't being said by lifting the Question

How often to you actually pause and make space for yourself to know your position before answering? How often do you refocus on why that ask you for a recommendation?

WHY they are asking in the first place? what is is the ask for a recommended for? 

Why do they ask you? Why now? Where are they now and do you see clearly where they want to go?

Whats your position in the recommendation? You're not in their shoes. Dont let them drag you there. Surely have empathy for their position but remain in yours.

That said said, respectfully levelup their question in a way you think will help them get from where they are and where they want to go. Dont settle for detours.

 

No one care how much effort you invested - they care about how it can help them from where they are to where they are going

release freely and often. if your idea is all you've got you've got nothing. share it with those who need it and embrace reality.

if you have to lock in knowledge you're turning into a commodity. like the hackers in the 80th used to say. information want to be free

deliberately put time-blocks onto your calendar to practice with the intent to throw away

Do things early enough with margins to let go.  create remarkable space for opportunity.  put yourself in a position where your effort matters and get evaluated by those you want to help

time-blocking, intentional action, reflecting on outcome is key. How often do you do it like that?

Dont store - Create, Release, Reflect

So its set. This show will be renamed Results & Relationships.

Why? Im hoping to help you let go of what you make.
Create it with your intent and then release it.

this show isnt just for me. The simpler name might help those its for. you.

Just like everything you create.
Lots of the stuff wont become a recurring growing assets.
but once it does, its important to remember to release it.
its no longer just for you.

Likewise do I hope to inspire you to be kind to yourself when beginning.
its impossible to know what it will become, and whom will have the best effects from your generosity.

sure its important to have an intent, a purpose and an idea if what its for is working.
and that cant happen without an idea who its for

but your work will change, and who its really for will change as you learn more.

Going back to Results & Relationships.
I think its important you think about the ratio in everything.
The highest paid programmers arnt the one writing the best code alone, they get the people and invest time and effort there too.
they get the business and help elevate the people needed to get there.

Making a real big difference is alwawys a dance between multiple axises, multiple metrics es.
Just one thing alone is not enough..

For example we steal from our selves.

write or market - instead of writting better.

write closedloop - a novel in the closet 
you need to you work where you get real life feedback.
write with some sort of notion to check if its working with what its for.

dont look for the silver bullet
dont think you will hack the system and just find the publisher
just get picked with whatever.

keep doing some work thats helping some real cause, person.
if you are not ready to be public about it. just give it into the hands of those you think it will help.

Dare to be specific and clear enough to create tension. Be respectful to those you serve, and those around you and yourself. Dare to show the tension early saves so many so much - its an huge alternative cost for us people pleasers who rather save those tough confrontative talks for tomorrow. Thinking we're doing the generous thing to have more details, habits, patterns for when we adress it.. yet often resulting in a big cost of delay or ourselves realizing to late that we're serving the wrong thing to long.

Owning your choice of context, your patterns and positions from which to serve.

Are you owning your choice of context?
Do you position yourself with people and situations that are likely to help others long-term and effectively?

Are you diving into your context to find the context within the context of what truly matter to those you seek to serve?

What do you rhyme with?

What does your work ryme with?
What does your relationship ryme with?
Whats your future ryme with?

We live in a time where most want to "Predict the next big wave", "find The Key that unlocks it all" or that "The golden segment to distript industries". Chasing that dream of exponential growth.

Believing we see it everywhere. Not seeing the infinite amount of tries between the dots of success.

For most of us this results in a cost of delay, in procrastination lost in a waiting game. Doing something every day that you learn from is the most common story of those that have made it.
Doing consistantly that work that helps you connect to those you want to help is the best way to learn what matter.
Waiting for to catch that "wave that is worth it" often means when it comes we are not ready to harness it. Embrace the small wins, the opportunityo to train that skill, to listen and learn to see.

What do you ryme with? Often it helps me think of predictions like spirals or repeat cycles. Instead of trying to predict exacly what the future looks like its often more helpful to se the pace of small levelups around you.
And surround yourself with others dancing to that rythm instead of lost playing the waiting for a worthy wave game.

Surround yourself with people that appreciate that you try to daily show up for what you believe in. To make a differerence for that next ryme. People who will happily let you borrow their work and learnings for that next experiment. People believing your effort will help you all versus being in a competition.

Do you see its many sides and shapes?

There is always many sides and shapes to everything that matter.
Some sharper than others. Few see the world exactly like you do.
How many of the worldviews of those you serve can you hold higher than your own when needed?

Do you intentionally make space to stay off the beaten path in a few select areas over a longer time?

Do you intentionally surround yourself with people who are happy to accept that on the edge there isnt a one clear metric to rule them all?

Do you intentionally gather people who get energy, rest and clarity from being together?

Book recommendations in this cast:

* Cold Start problem and the double-edged sword of network effect. A book that came out today so I havent fully read it yet

* This is marketing - a book I'v read multiple times and I still learn something every time.

Uncanny Sight: You saw something inside me that I didnt see until years later yet I wasnt ready when you named it and that made me nervous

Are you making people uncomfortable with what you see or does your lended sights give them freedom, energy or clarity to act for their own benefit?

Sometimes the people around you are not ready to connect to what you want to connect on.
How can you learn to see that early?
If you want to help make change happen you must meet people where they are right now.
not where you know they will be eventually.

Often that means you need to go first. To show trust by creating space for them first.
To listen for what happens or dont happen and if needed just move on. Or in other times lean in, staying with the tension longer for THEIR benefit. At other time its the exact that behaviour that makes them too uncomfortable. Easy to see in retrospect and the long game.
Really hard in the moment.
Are you paying attention to the recipient of what you see right now?
What you might call kind clarity might be perceived as way to much tension for me.
Likewise though. A few years later it might be exactly those very word you get thanked for.

[
I was also having a deep cold recording this. I hope it was bearable to listen to despite that
]

Relentless tests. Lessons and gifts are optional.

Relentless tests. Every second of your life, business & relationships.

Question is though. Are you taking the lessons that matter and letting go what doesnt belong so you learn between tests?
Are you accepting the gifts that helps both you and their giver, and letting the ones go that dont? Even if they are from yourself, fully formed, shiny and polished with hardwon sunc costs?

When you grew up. School gave you lessons, then you take the test.
And you though that was the "fair" order it was supposed to be done at.
I believe that by embracing reality you see we are all given neverending tests and its very very optional if anyone will take the lesson. Less easy is to see its the same with gifts from your former self to yourself. What got you here wont get you there. Let go of that raft and habits that protected you so far so you can form new one that serves you better where you want to go from here.

Instead of seeing goals and the long journey there. Embrace the hard obstacles right here right now. Help others move their for them, learning for yourself while doing it.

Instead of longing for a smooth journey towards the goal. Embrace that the "deeper downs" will teach you better & faster. So so how can you weave in rest time so you can go deep on a hard problem when helpful? You level up faster in positions like that versus the dream you have of smooth sailing
That position is a choice. That emotional labor is a choice.
if whater you are feeling right now isnt what you want. Whats the lesson? Whats the gift from your former past, the company you keep. what are you carrying that you can lay down in favor of helping to carry something else?

Sensortoipia. Metaverse. Data. machine learning. Fast pace of our world... Makes it hard to see the lesson longterm to say privacy yet you can still think about it right now.

Who am I teaching right now?
its so hard to missread reality thru the lens of the past.
Its so easy to be blinded by the shiny object or goal in the future.
Who am I teaching right now? Take a breath and ask yourself this six times centering on just one of the word each time you ask it.
You just might see reality better.

You are being tested all the time. Dont be unprepared. Dont autoaccept whats given.

Whats worth that extra care?

Who are worthy of that extra effort again and again?

About this eposide:
I'm glad to introduce you to Özlem, our first guest in perhaps 6 years or something of weekly shipping.

Since the 1990ths I have always created a few cyber communities where we have learned together. (On whatever voice platform made it most easy at the time)
Almost every day I'd join a live voice channel in a joint venture within a game the group as a whole would be playing.

This created a space where so many different age-groups, professions and walks of life met. Often and recurring working together creates remarkable spaces. One where we know during our day we have this "other" place where we can questions. Learn from others experiences or share when we feel vulnerable. On any topic from Life, business or anything.

I thus jumped into AltMBA number 4. Knowing already at #1 it was for me but I feared I wasnt worthy enough to be there so took a while before I dared. I have since been part of 30 akimbo workshops and a remarkable coach in a few. Because I believe in learning together. Helping each other see better together. Feel seen for what matters. So when my friend Özlem started her course on Maven.com A platform where I've also been part of a few great community based courses I thought we should talk about whats inside her creation for your benefit.

About your guest:

Özlem Özkan is an author, podcaster, teacher and coach. She tells us more about how she got Seth Godin on her show, went from homeless to living in a monument, and how every NO brought her closer to the YES.

Özlem was invited to be an instructor with Maven, a new cohort-based course platform founded by the co-founder of Udemy and the co-founder of altMBA. She is now teaching the cohort-based-course DARE TO ASK at Maven.

To attend her free workshop go to https://lu.ma/ooj6zmcs

Check out DARE TO ASK on https://maven.com/bridging-workshops/dare-to-ask?custom=true

Özlem’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ozlemozkan/

Özlem’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozkanozlem/?hl=en