Join Seth Godin as we are talking about boardgames and how we can help kids, including that kid we all have inside us, by helping others level up in ways they want to repeat.

I really recommend you check out his newest book

The Song of Significance: A New Manifesto for Teams

https://seths.blog/Song

Transcription of our conversation to save you time if you don’t have time for a listen.

Ric

Thank you Seth for coming here. I'm humbled to have you with us.

Seth

Oh, you're a leader, you show up on the regular, you're so generous in the way you've coached and help people so its my pleasure.

Ric

Thank you, Seth. That’s mutual. I've learned from you and your books to just dare. Before I got older I was afraid of tension and the conflict there in and your way of leading helped me to realize that tension is actually helpful and the only path forward and I'd love to talk some about that.

Seth

Terrific, terrific. I mean, when we're talking about tension, people don't always understand. The simplest example I can give you if I […………]

I only paused for three seconds, maybe two, but it was still uncomfortable. That's a form of tension. It's not a physical thing. It's a way that we want completion to occur. We're wondering what's going to happen next. 

Industrialism has pushed us to want to relieve tension, and just get the memo done, meeting over with, the quarterly numbers in. But in fact, creativity always involves tension.

Ric

So right and again, now I fight daily embracing that instead of hiding from it because I want to fill that with the short term instead of reminding myself of the long term. And here, I struggle with figuring out how to help kids. I'm a board gamer and a computer gamer and I played a lot of role playing games. And I quite often sit as a leader of a meeting and realize - playing these games taught me so much to figure out what needs to happen here.

Why aren't they paying attention to what matters?

Whenever you talk about games, like Cosmic Encounter (a boardgame), or how you learn things from video games - its so good to hear. 

When did you start playing board games? Because you do talk about that every now and then

Seth

Well, I don't know if you know, but I'm friends with Peter co-creator of Cosmic Encounter. So yeah, so I know royalty. I probably started playing board games when I was five or six. 

I think it's very important to establish early on two things. One, like music, there's taste in board games. Just because you don't like some board games doesn't mean you don't like all board games. And number two, what goes to that is, forgive me, but there's good board games, and there's bad board games. And there are a lot of bad board games. You know, I grew up with Monopoly. Monopoly a bad board game. And there are a lot of ways that I explain why it's bad. Chutes and Ladders is a bad board game where you're just rolling dice and using luck to magnify it all the way around.

On the other hand, Rock Paper Scissors RoShamBo is an excellent game. The rules are super simple, you can play it at many levels of depth, etc.

I was a game designer in the early 1980s. I pride myself on doing game design still to this day. Not always on a board, not always with dice. Sometimes in the way of businesses designed, it's still a game. And for me, games are a set of rules. 

A way for individuals to bring intent to the table to see how their intent interacts with other people's intent when exposed to the rules.

Business is at its best when rules are clear and are about serving your constituents. But the play is not clear. Which is why we do business now totally differently than we did 20 years ago. Because people get better at playing the game.

Ric

Thinking absolut when we see the rules and understand the rules. One of the headlines for your current book is “Let's get real, or let's not play” and the earlier we can understand that you play around a rule set that I don't want to play around or that I nor you can succeed in when we play together the better both of us are.

Do you want to segway over to that?

Seth

Yes what does the phrase let's get real or let's not play mena and there is a great book with that title. That's not my book. That book is about selling. In that book, what they're arguing is that if you're doing a complicated multimillion dollar B2B sale, you're not going to make it by hustling people. You're going to make it by engaging with them to solve their problem. And if they don't want their problem solved, don't go on a sales call, right? Let's get real about why we're both here. I am not doing this to you. I'm doing this with you.

My book, The Song of significance takes us to a different level and says: look at work, we're here to make a change happen. If you just want an industrial job, where you take something from this box and put it in that box, go work over there. That's not what we do here. What we do here is we make a change happen. And there are a bunch of mutual commitments we need to make about how we will play that game with each other for each other, to get to where we're going. And what's happened at work, is we've enabled industrialism to creep in, and we pretend that's what we're doing. But what we're really doing is ordering people to do what we want. And I think we need to talk about it.

Ric

Yes and the better we become a talking about it and having empathy that it's hard to be a middle manager right now being told to play by one rule set yet being followed up on another rule set.

It goes back to board games. If you can realize that some people at this table want to play Monopoly, but you don't. The earlier you can have that conversation, the better off you all are.

I'm always, as a grown up who is often in conversations with kids asking myself -  What am I teaching whom right now here?

For example, what happens when we remove the dice from the game, suddenly, it's a very different game, and different skill sets being taught that is still play that are also very beneficial when we're talking to people reading people, understanding people, but also, everyone needs to have fun.

So if we're forcing someone to play a game that they find too complicated, or too scary, or whatever, they're not going to come back next time we invite them to play. Right? This is exactly the same for work outcomes.

Seth

Brilliant, and the key word you just said his invite, right?

That part of the mindset of capitalism is you got to work or you're going to starve to death. So there's not an invitation there. Part of the mindset of compulsory education is you got to go to school, or your parents go to jail. So those are not enrolled activities. Great work, great learning comes where people are enrolled in the journey.

We have to figure out how to create the conditions for people to decide that that's what they want.

Ric

Yes, and continuing with role playing, for example, as a Game Master. The stories my childhood friends still tell others about today (we are all still very close friends) is where they were part of the story, of making the story, of creating the story. They weren't necessarily the heroes of the story.

But it wasn't my story. I was just giving them a direction and creating a collaborate space for them and thus they turned it into their story. And support for the work, we do emotional work we need to do

Seth

Exactly, and you know, so it's interesting when we think about role playing games, how badly they've been pigeonholed for a certain group of nerdy kids when in fact our life is a role playing game.

The people who seem to get the most out of our lives are the ones who are the authors of that journey, as opposed to simply characters in it.

Ric

Yes and goes back to my previous fear of tension where I was reacting versus daring to proactively help people. Another lesson I learned from you, maybe 30 years ago was meaningful specific and small data. When I began my consulting career, 30 years ago, before buzzwords like big data, and stuff like that everyone was hungry for more data. And then I read a post from you realizing how could I not see this for myself? You need to be intentionally meningsfull  specific, embracing small data

Do you want to share some thoughts on that?

Seth

No, you please. You read it more recently than I did. Go ahead and riff.

Ric

it is about what's the purpose? What's the intention? What's the small action to commit to here instead of having too big targets, big actions that are too vague. I've also been coaching in your Akimbo workshops where it's like we ask ourselves: “Did it work?” where it's “you don't write a long thing and then think you can plaster it everywhere” you write a small thing for a specific funnel that buys permission to invite those you aim to help read another small thing that eventually will help them get to where they want to go.

Seth

Right.  So I think what they all adds up to is choosing to be on the hook. This goes back to the board game thing. Which is when you are playing certain kinds of board games, there is no doubt who is in charge of your pieces. It's you. It's not a group of people where you're just doing what you're told. You moved that piece. Well, if you write a piece of copy, and people didn't respond, you wrote the copy, and people didn't respond. That is really useful information. Whereas if 14 people are in a room for six months and come up with some crafted statement, that means nothing. And it doesn't do anything. We don't know who rolled those dice. We don't know who's on the hook, and therefore it won't improve. Because we need to understand that we're getting real, we're playing this game, we have a change we seek to make, are we going to do it or not?

Ric

Yeah, totally. And also, on the big data thing, it's always easier to go looking for more things to add versus going small and asking ourselves ”did it work?” putting ourselves on the hook, as you say. 

We're also living in a very fast-moving world. Something that piqued my interest that you talked about just now is learning from the edges, being willing to go to the edges, and learn and then teach others.

Seth

Well, so I'm struggling for a boardgame analogy, I'm not sure I have one here. So let's put that aside for a minute. The frontier, the edges, the places where the nerds, the people with problems, the folks who are seeking to make change happen is the juiciest most interesting place.

Because I have no doubt that it is vitally important that the people in the water department at my town get fresh, clean water to my house. But that's a Six Sigma problem. And the only way to succeed is to make it a little tiny bit cheaper than you did yesterday. And that work needs to be done. I am not minimizing it. We can't live without it. But it doesn't have to be done by you.

The problem with industrial work, where the only way to win is to be a little faster and a little cheaper, is you spend your day running on a treadmill. It's hard to feel truly significant. When you're not making change happen when you're not feeling like you're on the hook. It's harder to be respected is harder to find the thrill of looking forward to tomorrow.

As we enter this post-industrial age what we're hearing from people who have enough to eat who have a roof over their head is that what they miss in their life is significance is knowing that they did something that they alone could contribute to. The only place to find that work is on the edges.

Now they don't have to be the giant edges of launching a mission to Jupiter, it could be the edge of here's this patient, she just found out she has high blood pressure, she has never had this problem before. In the next five minutes, the tone of her future is going to be set. What is that interaction like? If you're just going to read it from a card, you're probably not showing up as a human.

But if you can see the pain in that person's eyes, and you can figure out how to offer that person solace. Well, then you've done something significant.

Ric

Yeah, and that is something we all can choose to do.

Seth

Right

Ric

But it is scary. But putting yourself on the line there to actually invite having that conversation or fighting to have the margin for five minutes for listening.

Seth

Right. Exactly.

Ric

I feel bad for bringing us back to boardgames after such an important topic.

Seth

Please do.

Ric

One example there is our garage is full of board games that I bought that didn't become ”something our friends play for 20 years”. But I also I am the one in in my friends group that come with something new. Let's try this. And one out of 20 is something we keep playing for that long that yet most aren't.  I enjoy trying those rules playing out and experimenting with them but with the intent that most of them won't get used. Anyone listening to this. This is the same thing for a software and automation, making time for having conversations. Not all of them was going to work out. And but it's exactly the same with board games.

Seth

Yes. Well said and you know, the people who are passionate about a hobby go into it knowing they're not going to be right every time. Same thing is true with music and with music, we solve the problem by inventing the radio station. We haven't figured out how to make a radio station for board games.

Ric

I would love that.

We do have something for our computer game players. There it's a lot easier because there you have it on STEAM that you can buy something as an early developer or a complete game  and then you can refund it.

So there it's starting to move, it's easy to try things early on the edges.

And you Seth for example, with Carbon Almanac -  you have a board game there. And you have the PDFs on line, so you can taste it, chew a bit, and then I want more, or you can say no, not me, not right now.

Seth

Exactly

Ric

And with 3d printing and board games moddig as well, soon that might be easy outside the edges there too.

But again, when you're talking about real life problems, and having that emotional work, it feels so bad bringing up board games. But if we can invite the kids to dare to experiment, to learn new rules. To reposition fast and easy when they realized what worked well for a previous game didn't work here.

Seth

Yeah. And you know, a couple of times, you've mentioned kids, kids is a chronological thing, but it's also a choice. And I act like a kid on a good day. That's my goal, act like a kid. And why wouldn't we want to do that?

Ric

I'm with you. I think we all have that inner child. And when we see it, accept it and encourage it,  good things follow. Both when my kid connects to your kid Seth good things follow. But also, if we can learn to see things 20 years before we need to show up for work, for fun, because we get enrolment with our friends having fun. Why not?  That is making life better for people I believe.

Seth

Yeah

Ric

I love to play a lot of board games with kids today, but I also play Minecraft and those kinds of games too. And something you also talk a lot about is coming together as a community to solve system problems. And kids do this today in Minecraft. I remember being a computer player meeting other computer game player. When I was a teenager and starting to work. We were kind of nerds and a bit ashamed of it. And then 10 years later. It was something something you put it put on your resume to illustrate that you helped elevate, teach work, automate stuff.  I'm so curious to see what happens with the kids growing up having that experience from Minecraft. 

Seth

Yeah. And a shout out to Cory Doctorow and his book Makers. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it. It's about communities of nerds coming together to play a game in real life that transforms the whole world.

Ric

Yes! I like that book and the book Walkaway and I pre-ordered his Red Team Blues

Seth

Yes. exactly

Ric

I want to read that and look forward to it. We can take what we get and make it better this modding that goes on in both board games and in cyber game. That mindset for works. It's awesome.

Seth

Yes, exactly. Well said.

Ric

But it can also be a bit much I know you've said a few times that you are mildly distracted. And I'm asking for myself now. 

Because I am like that and you have spoken for the need to put on blinders. So what is your advice, to stay on course and to dare to do the work?

Seth

Well back to the idea of the let's get real. People who are easily distracted don't seem that easily distracted when they're middle of a game they really are enjoying. So pick the game properly. And that is the discipline of my career is if I am in a game that I keep finding myself distracted from I'm probably in a game that is not ideal for me.

Part of the work of me being a professional is to pick a game that I can inhabit in a way that makes me feel more alive, not less. And I think that anyone who has the technological and economic privilege to be listening to this is in a similar situation. Pick a game. A real life game, a professional game, a game where you get paid. That's the right game for you.

Ric

Yeah, and if I can add to that also learning from you is also what do you want to become better at quite recently, that you could have chosen to become great at writing Twitter posts. Instead  you choose to become a long form writer or something like that? And I think having that insight that, what am I building here? What am I training myself in here? Is something we must darr Ask ourselves recurringly. Any thoughts on that?

Seth

Well, I mean, it, it turned out in retrospect that that was a really good choice on my part. But the purpose of that blog post was to point out that most people didn't bother to make the choice. Most people thought, oh, I can be really good at Twitter, and really good at medium and really good at having a blog, and Facebook and LinkedIn. So I'll just do everything because that's what these companies want me to do. And I said, it's extremely unlikely that in the time I have available for these tasks, I can get really good at all five of them. So I'm just going to put up a wall and not even do three of them, not even at all. And by doing that, I forced myself to spend the time playing a few games as opposed to be mediocre to a lot. And it's so easy to succumb to social pressure. And to say, Nope, I'm on Facebook, because I have to be, well, actually, you don't

Ric

Im totally with you that it was a great choice. And I'm grateful for that because I learned so much from your blog. But I think most are missing another important point.

And that is that the platform's control so much, but if you create something that's yours, you can learn, you can change, you can adapt. Versus if you're creating something following that tension of the plattforms nurges. that thing you should be, you need to be everywhere you need to be here. Then someone else controls what happens if they change or they decommission or upgrade or install or do premium, or whatever.

Seth

Yes

Ric

So having something that's yours, I think that is really powerful and really important.

Seth

Yes!

Ric

And speaking of which, I love your books. I wholeheartedly remember, I think I read audiobooks. You were really there for me when I started work in the early 90s. And now you have something new coming out that I want everyone to check out. Do you have any words before we wrap this up?

Seth

Well, the book is called The Song of significance. And it's personal, not just personal to me, but personal to each person who I've written it for. And what I'm arguing is that work isn't working. And then when we think about the best job we ever had, the way it made us feel alive the way we were able to bring more to it the way we felt a sense of meaning and importance. I want to understand why we aren't building more jobs like that. I want to understand what kind of commitment do we need to make to each other to our co workers, to our bosses to our employees, to permit us to get beyond being a cog in the system. And I learned a lot from honeybees in researching this book, honey bees are basically a human brain inside out. Each bee is a neuron. And when we watch how honey bees make choices, when we watch the lifecycle of the hive, we learned an enormous amount. And on the back cover, the bucket says the purpose of a hive isn't to make honey. Honey is the byproduct of a healthy hive. And I think when we think about our work, the same thing is true.

Ric

What comes to me when you say that it's also instead of looking at a goal, look at a habit that might produce the goal. Because you need to show up for the habits that might produce the goal. You need to practice, and you need to learn by real feedback.

Seth

exactly, and the last story in the book, is something I know you and I share.

It's about the Wizard of Oz. And basically one of the lessons we can learn there are a bunch but one of the lessons we learned is that the Tin Man, the Scarecrow and the Cowardly lion, were not compelled to go on the journey with Dorothy, they volunteered to go on the journey.

They went on the journey, because helping each other to get to where each wanted to go was a choice. It was in enrolment, it was a game they wanted to play.

When we say to people, you have to show up at the Zoom meeting, we're taking attendance or you're fired. When we say to people, you have to do this, you have to do this, you have to do this because I need to control you. Suddenly the voluntary nature of the game goes away.

The goal of significant work is to have a goal is to say we are all seeking to do this together. These are the rules. How do we bring a certain sort of energy with us to do it? So the goal of the song of significance itself the book is to give people who give me the benefit of the doubt a tool that they can bring to work that they can bring to their co-workers and say let's all read this So that's gonna take us two hours, and then decide if we want to get real. Because if we can rewire the rules of work, we can make magic happen.

Ric

And a better culture a better workplace a more fun way to help as well

Seth

exactly

Ric

A meaningful way to help. And, I read in your draft of this book that you talked about, what if we didn't have meetings for a week instead you did things you're proud of? Would you want to repeat that?

That is again putting yourself on the hook.

Seth

Right

Ric

We need to  create that because people who just comply and do what they're told will never be able to reach their potential for how good they could be in service for what they care about.

Seth

Exactly right. Well said,

Ric

I would love to hear you talk about the broomstick and how myself I've fallen prey to that mistake so many times in my life.

Seth

Oh me too.

That's why it resonates with me. So the key turning point in the movie is and I actually did the computer game version based on Frank Baum's original books.

I have studied the Wizard of Oz in great detail. The movie is very different from the books in really interesting ways. In the movie the key moment is when Dorothy shows up for the first time. And the wizard says “if you bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West I will send you home”. What we know is that the wizard didn't need a broomstick. He said it so that Dorothy would go away and not come back. And often in our lives, people send us out for a broomstick. We're making a B2B sales call. And someone says, Yeah, but do you have a spreadsheet showing baba, baba, baba?

We go get that thinking that if we bring it back, they'll say yes. No, they just wanted us to go away.

So what we need to understand is, is this a broomstick problem? Or is this real? Is this something that we're doing because people have a checklist and they're just trying to move on or is it because it matters? When I was busy helping to invent the first generation of internet media, people sent me out for broomsticks all the time. And I really felt like if I just collected enough broomsticks, we would be fine. And in fact, what I learned from the let's get real or let's not playbook is you can turn right back to the wizard and say “do you really need a broomstick? Because if you really need a broomstick, help me understand why. if not, let's get to work.”

Ric

Yeah, and I still get goosebumps hearing that story and for those of you who don't know.
With Akimbo workshops I think I've been in 100 or so zoom calls with Seth.

And EVERY time he talks about that with our students, I get goosebumps.

But also, that we receive it for what it is, because it doesn't have to be that they just want you to go away consciously. It might also be that that's their excuse. Unconsciously, they're asking you for things. So we need to have empathy with them, but also help ourselves see, this is a detour that isn't serving either of us.

Seth

Yes, brilliant.

Ric

The earlier we can do that the better conversations we can have, right?
I want to be mindful of your time though.
Thank you again for joining us today talking about boardgames, play and creating significance together.

Seth

Ric, these are great questions and your contributions as coach, as student, as a leader, just such a privilege to know you. Thank you.

Ric

Thank you. Likewise, sir. I'm honoured.

 its still about doing work that you and those you serve wants repeated

* In healthy organizations, leaders take responsibility for the system and people take responsibility for their actions.
* In unhealthy organizations, leaders blame the people, and the people blame the system

above quote is helping me take ownership of making this better for those around me. 
Helping give others pre-requirements they need to succeed on whats important for them AND those our we together serve.

Below was generated by an helpful autobot for those who want to save time with a quick read instead of listening

* The speaker talked about that work is a pivotal aspect of our lives and greatly influences our emotions. If we engage in work that we take pride in, tasks that we willingly do for the people we serve, and jobs that allow us to see the significance of our contributions to the larger organization, optimism comes naturally. This perspective can be a potent antidote to professional burnout.

* Today, it's simpler than ever be part of someone's work output firsthand. You can engage someone for a short, well-defined project, paying them in full. This gives them tangible experience that they can apply to their next job - it's not a tactic to exploit free labor from interns.

After you've collaborated with someone, you'll have a clear idea if they're someone you'd like to work with long-term. Conversations about work don't equate to actual work. An interview, for example, is an artificial construct that doesn't capture the reality of doing a job like programming.

Collaborating on tasks is a different ballgame compared to merely discussing work. Just as you may love your friends, it doesn't necessarily mean you'd want to engage them in a substantial professional commitment.

Once they AND you have fulfilled the commitment you both agreed upon, if they performed well, invite them to take on more tasks. If not, you can assign them different tasks that promote learning while still contributing to your projects.

Adopting Peter Drucker's philosophy of treating everyone you meet as a volunteer can foster a positive mindset. Remember to always pay fairly - avoid requesting free samples, as this might deter the talented individuals you wish to collaborate with. It's crucial to uphold ethical practices and not exploit those who are eager to learn, earn, and grow.

* By clearly understanding our unique contributions, we can better prioritize our work tasks. We also learn to let go of those tasks that may not get done, acknowledging that it's okay not to complete everything.

Positive stress arises when we're dealing with important issues that we are capable of and eager to change. On the other hand, negative stress surfaces when we feel powerless or when we're handling inconsequential tasks - tasks that might merely serve to declutter someone else's mind rather than add real value.

The speaker believes that work is an essential part of life and the way we view our contributions to the organization can significantly impact our optimism and reduce burnout. It is important to prioritize tasks that matter for those we serve and having the insights why it also matter to our own skillset development. its often thee biggest difference between positive stress (when a task is important and changeable) and negative stress (when a task is unchangeable or insignificant).

The speaker emphasizes that it's not the individual's fault if they struggle with setting boundaries or prioritizing tasks correctly. As a leader, it's crucial to provide the necessary support for individuals to thrive. If an individual fails, the organization should bear the responsibility rather than blaming the individual.

* The speaker provides practical advice about the benefits of distributed work. These include the ability to evaluate someone's work through short projects and making hiring decisions based on real experience rather than just interviews. The speaker also advocates for fair pay and ensuring that the team's average output doesn't decrease with increased hiring.

* The speaker mentions potential dangers of distributed work, like facing global competition and the risk of fraudulent candidates. He suggests that asynchronous ways of working are beneficial in distributed setups, implying that traditional methods with a boss dictating meeting schedules might become obsolete.

* The speaker mentioning the environmental benefits of distributed work, such as reduced commuting and fewer flights for meetings. He also notes the importance of listening, knowledge management, and improving onboarding speed in this work arrangement.

* We can only accommodate new clients if we let go of old ones.
 Present your best ideas to your boss/client; if they don't support them, consider invest more effort for some who will.
Those who aren't adaptable will eventually be replaced by those who are.

Remember Horstman's Law: You're not as clever as you think, and others aren't as foolish. Always validate your ideas and keep track of your achievements.

For me, protecting your team looks like this:

* Encourage regular updates to their LinkedIn profiles.
* Stay at a job only if it's the best place to work.
* Help them keep their doors open for new opportunities.
* If I'm not fostering an environment where people want to stay, I need to take responsibility and act quickly.
* Don't stay in a job just because you can't find a better one; stay because the work itself is rewarding.
* Value knowledge management, recurringly on your calendar and prio.
* Listen to your team.
* Make onboarding processes more efficient.
* Encourage experimentation.
* Retain staff over the long term only because they genuinely want to stay.
* And remember, we owe it to our planet to reduce commuting and unnecessary air travel for meetings and presentations. Let's make the most of our digital connections.

 

* In today's digital age, when you're merely a thumbnail on someone's Skype, Microsoft Teams, or Zoom call, global hiring becomes effortless. As a result, you inevitably find yourself competing with a worldwide pool of talent, not just the local ones. For certain types of jobs, this global competition has been a reality for quite some time.

As remote work becomes prevalent, so does the risk of encountering imposters. With the increasing importance of a robust body of work, it's easier for individuals to masquerade as your ideal candidate, perhaps by displaying a highly proficient GitHub account with the intent of securing internal access to your system. Similarly, fake recruiters can exploit those who are desperately seeking employment. The remote landscape calls for extra caution and stringent verification processes.

Flow before filter.
Since out previous episode was on "flow and distractions and position yourself for your favorite game" It felt like a natural follow up with this and some notes on the importance of your "Inbetween worlds" and the Hive Computer.

Those who see and those who dont.
Right know you are living in so many paralell worlds you are unaware of.

Do you see?

Take some time to reflect about the things you create, who you create them for, and the reasons behind your creations. Pay attention to your focus, effort, and recurring patterns.

What kind of work would your coworker identify as having your touch on it? What improvements would they recognize as being made by you? On the other hand, what kind of work would your coworker instinctively know that you did not write or contribute to? Including what parts of their work, feelings and results would they miss your contributions in?

In a simplified way. Whats your manifesto? You dont need to write it down but thinking about it helps you see your own postion clearer.
I credit these three for creating my methods teaching me what I see
in 2022 the Agile Manifesto discussion forums, in 2005 The Manager-Tools podcast and Hostmans Law together with also in 2005 the Security Now podcast

Who do you credit for helping you see what matters? And what did you add to that mix for those you serve?

Some thoughts on your Decisions and Experiments from a duration perspective.
You decide what bus to get on, and not and for how long and when its no longer a time for waiting.
You decide where to wait for the bus, and not.

 

Where experiments go to die or fly.
When it should no longer be an experiement, instead honored as should be in production. where its helping your people regularly.
Some thoughts on AB+J testing and especially duration...
Dont run to many at one time then you dont know which can claim credit.
Dont run to few at any one time either though.

You dont get time back, neither do they.
Help those who give anyway at the edge of their skillset learning while giving it to others.

 

You dont get to do "now" or "tomorrow" all over again. So where and with whom do you want to invest your time and effort?

Where do you want to be position yourself and others skillswise for the benefit of whom in a future Now?

Whats Next? An Intention and its Experiment of course with Inside out Career Design

I just had a great conversation with Nicola and Peter at Inside Out Career Design

its never to early or to late to start an experiment

Inside Out Career Design can be found here
http://whatsnext.com/17


Passphrase Manager
https://bitwarden.com


Multifactor App Authenticators
https://www.microsoft.com/security/mobile-authenticator-app

https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/1066447 

Understand what game you are playing and dont go for fancy tactical moves sacrificing effort and learning serving people here and now.
Here and now is the better way to learn what works and what doesnt for the people who care.
Often the fancy tactics is just a form of hiding, and often you loose time to the alternatice cost of showing up today, in the precent for those who already care.

And some business and chess talk just to illustrate the point in how little can give so much for someone you care about.

 

Seth Godin, Boardgames, Showing up on the regular & leading together
Are you showing up on the regular for those you serve?
Choose a game that you are not often distracted from.

Whats worth being sticky to you and for what and whom?
Whats sticky around you that you dont think enough on right now?

On some small level most uf us understand that the internet never forgets and that algorithms can push us to extremes.
Yet we dont embrace how powerful a force this is for both greatness and levelup AND pulling us back into the rabithole again and again.

What am I stalling because Im afraid?

Whats the promise to make now, to whom

Welcome to Results and Relationships 

Today some thoughts on data-driven illusions and how they can impact our lives.

With my 29 years of experience as a consultant in the data information analytics & cyber protection industry, I'm often been asked questions about data-driven decisions.

What I think isn't being said often enough is that we should dare to discuss our vulnerabilities. We should talk about what we don't know and what controls us, as it's often the case that we don't fully understand our metrics or the connection between business outcome vulnerabilities.

Additionally, I'm very interested in cybersecurity, but we often don't have a strategy for how to best work with it. 
Decisions are made on a daily basis with legacy systems that we don't fully understand, thus the full implications of these decisions. As a result, we make compromises that can have long-lasting repercussions.

Whether you are building something right now or not, it's important to consider the data-driven illusions that are impacting your decisions. Likewise dont let your hunger for more data stop you from shipping right now.

What's not being said is that we have to dare to bring up our vulnerabilities and what we don't know. We don't fully understand our metrics and the connections between them and business outcomes. 

We also need to talk about cybersecurity and how to strategize around it. We often have to make decisions on outdated systems, which can be a challenge. This leads to a lot of compromises. 

Even if you're starting a new project, you need to be mindful of the data-driven illusions and vulnerabilities involved. Dare to talk about what you don't know and take steps to protect your business outcomes.

Today I share an answer I did for a friend’s question on our Voxer group earlier today.
Another friend suggested I should give you my esteemed listener into this part of me.

The “real-life part of me” so to say – where I don’t have the tension of the microphone, thinking out out loud and slow answering a friend’s prompt.

Whats my source of great results & healthy relationships and some answers on my thoughts on religious belief

before attaching it though, here is a summary of my audio that a third friend made for us, very slightly edited by myself for this podcast

* BELIEVE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, work hard on letting go what doesn’t

* Stories are powerful, but Truth is never pure and easy.

* In our "narrative", we tend to simplify things to remove the more painful parts.  We then choose our stories over Truth.

* YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF YOUR TIME, EFFORT, ENERGY, and your relationships.

Those around you dont get you angry. You choose you who surround yourself with after seeing their pattern. Then you made yourself angry all on your own.

* I don't see the world as it is, I see the world as I interpret it.

* "stories are my source."

* Anti – Thesis. Dare to explore both, without it it’s not really a choice, you're just blindsiding yourself fooling yourself you made a choice.

 

 

Big credits to this great book for much of the thoughts in this episode

https://www.amazon.com/The-Big-Leap-Gay-Hendricks-audiobook/dp/B00282MRQI

Probability & Meaningful Specific

Are you questioning how the three core components of probability, meaning, and specificity can be applied to the work you do?

Are you looking at how these three aspects drive your decisions, both intentionally and unintentionally? Are you taking the time to consider what the biggest impact of your work is, and how the probability, meaning, and specificity of your decisions will affect the outcome? Are you willing to put in the extra effort to ensure that you have the right focus and clarity to make the best decisions possible and accept the consequences - both good and bad - of those decisions?

Are you asking questions about above three in what you to those around you?

Are you asking yourself what goes into the heart or mind into whatever action, intentional or not from those around you based on this trio?

Take a minute and ask yourself on the biggest thing in your work right now. 

* Focusing on Probability - what shifts?

* in the meaning beyond the work you do - or asked to do?

* The specific - do you dare to make it small and specific enough so you can take credit if it works, or responsibility if it doesnt?

Quite often its scary to put ourselves on the line like this, but if we do dare, we learn faster and thus help others better

books mentioned:

Annie Duke - Thinking in bets
https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-in-Bets-Annie-Duke-audiobook/dp/B078SBSBW3

machines are talking - are you listening?

I try to have these cast mostly timeless, and less timely but I’ve gotten so much machine-learning & AI questions lately and I thought I should share a perspective I don’t hear that often.
Surely we’ve on a journey where each version have more and more data and being trained on the previous version. Making it very fast and scaringly biased.

The thing I believe we underestimate is the “Explain like talking to a five year old” combined with the relentlessness of machines and scripts.

For example with DISC we already tools like https://crystalknows.com that helps you adapt your message to the individual to make it easier for the recipient to understand what you’re trying to say. We have already since long trusted https://grammarly.com that there is a better way of saying this than what we wrote.

Now we can have our email to ten people be automatically rewritten in transport to the sugsegment of those groups. Perhaps this time it created three copies and sent the one most maching the communication profile of the recipient. This will be so effective since it can also help you follow-up “did it work” making each interaction more effective for both of you.

It can help you stay in tune with the workculture. Perhaps help you with your priorities for better effect and outcome at work by not letting you send late night messages, or if you believe you have to let them arrive at your co-workers desk in the morning. Again these tools exist, however machinelearning make you never forget to match whats effective and appreciated by each recipient.

Likewise if you go into Red Alert mode a la Star Trek, the machinelearning mod can temporarily overwrite that to instant say before a launch or similar, following up on the costs of doing so for you.
Or ensuring its automatically turned on again after the launch etc.
Us humans take a long time forming new habits and can break them instantly. Tools like this can help us stay focused on what matter if we temporarily need a detour from our priorities by reminding us. OR forcing us to face that we’ve changed our mind and instead embrace another goal in mind with our habits etc.

I believe this will help but it’s a twosided sword. Not all is great with it. For example it will make it even easier to tailormake timely, relevant messages with ill intent that isn’t as easily caught by the systems trying to protect you, including your own perhaps because the message is referencing something timely your co-worker or supplier said that is related to you but you wouldn’t say that out but you’re already connected and profiled out there on the web.
Next time you’re using tools like this. 

Be mindful of your use of them. Listen for what you are training them ON – its not just that you’re getting help, it’s a win-win-win where you don’t see the third party ever.

 

sunc costs is nothing more than gifts from your former you to yourself in the present.

if you recieved it fresh today
would you pick it up?

Are you making your choice about today and tomorrow for those you serve, including yourself or are you making it about your history or ego?

Try the road less beaten

 

Books recommended in this cast in case you dont have time to listen.

The Midnight Library

https://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Library-Novel-Matt-Haig/dp/0525559477

How to decide
https://www.amazon.com/How-Decide-Simple-Making-Choices/dp/B088P4XLVB

 

Embracing constraints can be a powerful tool to help us create better solutions. It is not the same as arguing for their limitations, which can be counterproductive and lead to stagnation. Instead, by understanding and accepting the boundaries of a situation, we are able to find creative and innovative solutions that can help us move forward. By accepting and understanding the limitations of a situation, we can challenge ourselves to come up with solutions that work within those limits, while still achieving the desired outcome.

 

As a computer person, you may find yourself using the command prompt and notepad often, because you appreciate the power of arguments and patterns to achieve certain outcomes. And you adapt quickly when a parameter is nerfed, removed or changed. When it comes to people, however, it is important to recognize that the same argument may not work each time. Instead of getting stuck in a loop of trying the same argument, or the same person try speaking out loud what might work, or why you might be wrong. By embracing constraints, you can find new and better ways to connect with people, rather than continuing to arguing in loops without connecting, or without finding other people to help that appreciate AND act on the help you provide.

The Spiral of Results & Relationships:

What have you done and how well have you done it & and who cares deeply about it?

Great work is rewarded by more work.
Who do you want to service so they're getting what?

 

Thank you everyone for letting me know I missed last week.
This this short one

Minding your relationships is a given. But have you given any thought to how much they affect your habits, your greenstreaks your levelups?

You have way more minutes in your day to day life available to you that you thing.
They are just easily given to distractions or just not thinking about it and thus not thinking about how much such minutes we all have every year.

Train a habit of start writing or adding to a project of your chose when you find yourself waiting for a meeting to start, or things are delayed and you have to wait. Instead of just "see what's new", give yourself the gift of having written a few sentence, made a notes on the next design etc or whatever you are creating.

Once you have a bigger block of time you have something to start from helping momentum alot.

Reminding us of that we will eventually runt short of minutes often helps see who and what accomplishments you will remember when you are 150 years old.
And yes, I believe you are living in the age where those you take care of themselves will live longer than those who don't.

just mere hundred years ago the average lifespan was 32 or something similar. Thinking of your future self will make you step up for what matters, and let go what doesn't.

But also in the short run.
Thinking about a deadline this week, and in case you need to reprioritize a day or two before that.
Where would you rather leave them if so?
Often reminding ourself of that we might run short of time preparing or doing what we should helps us see our accomplishments in a new light. often it also helps us see the one we are helping in another light as well.

Mind your minutes, its the most finite resource you have to give, and you will never get any wasted back (but perhaps a lesson learned but thats for another cast?)

Dont fool yourself. Describe to both yourself AND those you care about what you observe. You might not be as aware as you want to believe.
Embrace your passion but dont let that get in the way of embracing a smarter prediction

Who do you know that you can teach something right now?

Self doubt?
Depression?
Afraid of rejection?

Listen to those parts inside yourself - then please remind yourself about the alternative cost of the individual who might have benefitted if you did ship this today.

Perhaps asking yourself this helps? How can you

Make the steps smaller
Make the steps different
Make the who different

 

Stop listening to this podcast right now and call someone with a tip or just a listening caring ear.

You are more needed than you know, yet you might need to try something else to help.

The power of I dont know and default models around uncertainty & risk
 
We need to teach It's OK to say, "I don't know but I could look into it for you before friday" but also teach to separate uncertainty and risk.
likewise teach those around you that dubt and uncertainty is welcome. Its not to be feared but then as a leader we need to reward the effort and the bet in a decision, not just the outcome.

What is not surrounded by uncertainty cannot be the truth.

accepting and clearly stating I dont know when we dont, lend us credibility when we say we do and we will.

We also need to accept the really strong power of defaults for when its uncertain and risky. Dont just reward the positive choices.
 
For example in computing:
 The power of default. if there is no specified models for for THIS server we just found on the network we make it a member of model X.
 
Dont build your I dont know on positive choices
for all X we do A for all Y we do B that will leave you with servers
same with following up incidents
same with following up leads

Only then can we ask ourselvese: "Did it work for its intended?"
 or what happened? Scope creep? lack of courage? to much courage and to little data? or whats the lesson for next your next bet on the outcome that matters for the process you're working on?
 
embracing reality, theoriy, antithesis, experiments and data
 
It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, You need to re-learn what you think you know. Please work hard to surround yourself with people who live that mindset instead of behaving in other ways.

Makers Dance and rhythm of Real Feedback of those you help

You’re living and working in a circle; your work is never the end station. What you make is the steppingstone for other creations. Just like yours depend on those who’s created before you.

Learn to work with automations, machine learning models and other people in a healthy generous circle.

Book mentioned in this episode

Kevin-Kelly - The Inevitable - what technology wants

https://www.amazon.com/The-Inevitable-Kevin-Kelly-audiobook/dp/B01EB3OR32

Annie Duke - Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away

https://www.amazon.com/Quit-Power-Knowing-When-Walk/dp/B09PVR6YK5

Healthy Questions: what is Facts, assumptions, beliefs, whom is it for, what is it for & did it work?

Become better at solving bigger problems for people who see, care and can - 2h Keynote at Consultants Conference

You become the company you keep. Work hard to work WITH people who wants to solve hard problems together with you, rather than for you or in silos.

Some thoughts about owning your posture, position & pattern

Looking for patthers that got you here instead of blaming other people

Owning your worth Ethics, your commitments

inentionally choosing to invest in people who care with their actions not just words

intentionall invest in yourself by doing things with a set date

Trident people, process and technology

this trio is so interesting in high performing organizations
for optimizing the triple point of people, process and technology.

its really a very circular motion, which each part stabilizing and increasing the effect out of the other two as the spire scale upwards.

 

Here's the link to a presentation I've done a few times on another set of 3:

 

confidentiality integrity and avilability when it comes to IT and organisations.

 

CIA - What IT gets to work with. Some thought on patters and priorities

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whx7YKt7PQc

Some great people and links mentioned in this episode

Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker
https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Oneself-Harvard-Business-Classics/dp/142212312X

all books by Cal Newport: outcome, timeblocking and process workfocus instead of email
https://www.calnewport.com/books/a-world-without-email

Free Time with Jenny Blake
https://itsfreetime.com/book

Time Wise by Amantha Imber
https://www.amantha.com/time-wise-book

indistractible by Nir Eyal
https://www.nirandfar.com/indistractable

 

--
youtube
Help! My Productivity System Is Failing Call Newport
2022-08-12, 8min
https://youtu.be/xjjBr7lcdqM

 

Tiago Forte | Building a Second Brain
2022-07-26, 59min
https://youtu.be/Y86GOtc1KNo

 

Annie Murphy Paul The Extended Mind
2022-06-22, 1h02min
https://youtu.be/Nf2a3XAZugU

How the Brain Works: The Thousand Brains Theory of Intelligence
2022-04-05, 47min
https://youtu.be/LaAYuygr7_8

its your job to position yourself where you have options that helps others AND yourself. Thats the path toward word that fulfil you and matters for people that care about having that work done.

 

Focusing on elevating others by creating better options, more options for others is one of the best ways.

More is not better than better. Better is better than more.

Why is More options important though? Because you dont always know what better for other people looks like.
You dont know how it is working for you. You know what you believe, not their reality.

more options also have the benefit of making space for opportunity to help others AND yourself.

If behaviour dont change, no lessons have been learned.

Are you paying attention on what those moving on tell you?

Are you paying attention to what signal not listening or worse sends,
or the even stronger signal caring for those leveling beyond you sends?

Some thoughts on processes, outcomes and vanity metrics

its easy to believe Metrics, KPI, OKR etc is about the event, the timintervall its for.
Yet in 99% its about the purpose and intent of WHY your focusing AND communication THAT Metric.
Help others see the context and purpose. Be clear on how they will know it its WORKING for that purpose or not.
Might also be that concent wise you could use it for another purpose, with tremendous revenue should yuo but legally you cant. So declaring intent both for the knowledge management, effective use for the organisation AND for your customers so they can opt IN should that be in your joined interested is important.

Likewise with communcation internally. Just because you've written a guide for it, or a policy for it or whatever if you notice what needs to happen doesnt happen it doesnt matter that you said it.
What matters is did you take responsibility for what needs to happen happens.
Do you take responsibility for the effectiveness of your metric or your words?
Can you say its working or not in a way that is clear for those its serving, your employees, your customers, your stake-holders?

If you embrace communications, metrics and words more like a process that HAS TO start with an intent AND ends with a clear "how do we know if its working, how do we know when to quit" they serve everyone involved better.

if you're not clear on this - most likly its a vanity metrics.
Something invented to make you feel good from the platform benefitting from it, not you, nor the platforms users or its middlemanagement-ware - metrics leaders in between customers, employees and top management "invented" because they believed it helped a cause, helped someone look good, status - often created with a great intent then slowly over time turned into something else thats why the "when to quit" and "how do we know its working for its intended use" context for it.
Share what your learn as you montitor AND ACT on that which you follow up on.

Helping others a choice that is not about doing big things once.
its about your intention to do something for someone else now, today, recurringly.

For who'm and for what cause might change but keep giving, shipping and sharing what you see that elevates others.

Dare too see who uses what you teach to elevate others in turn, so your help amplifies instead of staying with just the one.

but "just" the one is where we all start, every day.

Focus on the one in front of you. 
Focus on what you learn by teaching, and then take responsibility for whats working and whats not in the way you teach. Be kind to yourself and alllow the small steps.

 

 

Just following up on some listener questions on previous episodes with a few examples.

If you're heading into vacation mode soon please create some space for yourself to explore your feelings and your own thoughts and patterns.

 

This space doesnt create itself just because you go on vacation.

You need to make it happen, and not just for you but also for those in your care.

Today however cyberspace lets you pull ideas for what better looks like everywhere
instead of in the industral age where the boss tried to teach you what they knew

Help those around you create knowledge bases that others can pull from.

Help those you work with create remarkable space and a place to pull the work that matter for (Kanban or anything help focus and asyncronus value creator and doesnt expect contact switching like email or meetings just because someone has the status to push you into one instead of sending a memo of what matters)

Most work a knowledge worker does has a time-intervall to it.

Rarely does you instantly act on a book you read - instead you pull from the books wisdom when your work benefits from it.

Rarely does your urgent high-noise task mean important for the long-run. You need to learn to pull from both stacks of work.

As the work becomes smaller and more and more work is expected learning to pull forth the work that matter, and help others create assets and knowledge management that works for them becomes critical. if you dont set personal boundaries and allow people to push things onto your plate without filtering you will loose all the work that really matter longterm.

Work to see the pull and the push in your life. Help other see that dance and the tension between them. 
Help others create space for creating a space from where they can pull forth to create their own future, and in doing so they will help elevate those around them

 

ps. Sorry for the audio. This is the first recording on rodecaster2 after using the rodecaster1 so I have some new stuff to learn

Skills, Decisions and organisations all are containsers rich with sunsets, fatigue and the halflife of enthusiasm.

How come we dont talk about those when we could so we can focus on that which matter, accepting reality in the time-interval that might be?

Results & Relationships
Predictions & Gifts

You're living in a prediction

Everything around you is based on predictions you've made.
We surely get so much wrong versus the prediction but great enough to be happy anyway.
(and quite often fool ourselve into it was a choice and intentional, not a bet and perhaps less intentionally)

Getting a House
Getting a Job
Getting a kid
Getting a spouse

Learning a craft
Giving something away - hoping it will be used not just put into a drawer or sold without changing something for the better for the one you gave it to

Diving deeper thought
Everything around you is also a gift from your former self

We cant look in the rear mirror for a guarantee answer
I love data, but its not all.
I dont believe you'll totally change something without data, but just because you have data prooving a change is needed doesnt mean it will happen

you can choose to commit, or let go.
What got you here wont get those you serve there.
what has got to go? what has to change, if any?

Ideas on the line

Thoughts on ideas that I got wrong for most of my life is (and sometime still do)

* You need to put yourself on the line for experiminting outside of those. I kept wishing I would find this "big AND safe" idea on my safe side of the line.

* Distruptive and really great ideas never have guaranties, proof and deniability. Yet I find myself waiting for trying to find one that have at least one of that bad trio.

* if it was that simple someone would have done it already. Why do I still keep trying to find a simple one?

* I thought the idea had to be unique, new and fresh.
Now I find it so much easier to say its "like this" slightly changed for.. Sort of putting your idea on the line next to another genre, book, industry or whatever then taking just a small step from there into the new thing. 
The mistake I keep doing is jumping into the new idea without connecting it to existing things for those Im talking with.

* Analytic's is not a guarantee for the future. Dare to make an assertion. work to figure out if its working and help those you serve see what you see.
I trust data, but its not everything.

* Leadership is NOT asking your team to give you X options and you choose the best one.
If that was all it took, your team doesnt need you.
The idea that matters are not that simple. 
Be kind to yourself and create something real for those you want to help so you can test if its working for them.

.. and a small rant on agile, MVP and what a focus on viable instead of minumum product might mean for those you serve.

Become Better at what - 
Thinking about Minimum Viable Product, and Viable Skills longterm

Your calendar and priorites tell a tale of your future

if most of your day is meetings you most likley will become better at sitting in meetings.

Ask yourself why you didnt send a memo instead. Clearer and saves everyone involved alot of time.

If not - whats that about and whats the skill there'in you want to become better at?

From the outside it might look like you're taking a very long crashboarse into how to work with wague unclear people. 
Thats gimping your results.

or the opposite.
If you're programming for the same ecommerce platform again and again without no real intention.

Like Bruce lee said.
I fear not the one who have practiced a thousand kicks
I fear the one who have practiced ONE kick a thousand times.

but just doing what youre told as programmer is NOT putting yourself on the line in making better stuff so what IS that think you want to learn to be better at in your elite code-skills

in agile we talk alot about Minumum Viable Product
We dont focus our effort enough on the Viable part

Viable means its actually helping the client get to where they need to go, from where they are. Scrappy solutions are ok to start with but focus on the actual customer 
Not just that you moved something forward towards green.

in data definitions are everything and rarely do we take enough time to understand if we think the same about what goes into a value and what is NOT included into that value.

What do you think about on these words for example?

Projects
Goals
Strategy
Actionable Analtytics
KPIS

Whats the verb they contain and their net effect?
Whats their promise to those you serve and to yourself?
Whats NOT included in them, what do you inentionally let go in order to get done what matters?

what has to be true in order for these to work
What can we wait with while prioritizing what
if everything is a priority nothing is a priority
is a strategy is just words its not a strategy
if tactics cant be quit and replaced you're now following a strategy
Often you dont need better data, bigger budget or waiting for the next project.
you just just better leadership and clarity.
How can you help those that matters see what they need to see?

 

 

My thoughts are that 

* a goal without commitment and a project is a dream. Important to have but not work or something you're putting yourself on the line for.

* a project without a goal is a hobbie. Important to have but you're unlikly to have an impact.

* Strategy without clear above points are just illusions and bad leadership.
A busines plan with numbers on them without data on actual paying customers or actions to exerpiment with is just wishful thinking - not a strategy, nor a tactic.

Ask yourself. Who needs to see what you see in order to make change happen where it matters while there is still time to change direction of this ship? and who will thank you for bringing that tension onboard and who will not?

What's your definition of kind?

Sometimes I need to remind myself that tension is needed for change, frictionfree is rarely kind.

Sometimes I need to remind myself that candor is needed for change, holding it in because of fear might not be kind.

What does kindness look like for you?

Who among you inspire you to be kind and what do they do? and what effects does their actions bring those they're kind to?

get the work that matters done for those who care but dont forget to to put yourself for both getting the job done, learn on that job, and share what you've learned.

its your responsibility to both yourself and those you want to serve to put yourself in those positions again and again.

Constraints are just bags with and within other bags of constraints - use it!

 

 

I'm sorry but I'm sick during the recording and you can tell. I'm also using a cleanly installed computer making the audio settings a bit different until I make time to set them.

Still - hope it helps

 

 

Create Results to Connect and elevate others For longlasting relationships

Embrace uncertainty for great results & healthy relationships.

Here we ask ourselves hard questions and embrace serious commitments. For a life with lots of fun play, long-lasting relationships, and legacy-worthy results.

Accepting Reality, Data, and that not everything matters.

Connecting, elevating, enrolling those who care.

Its spirals and circles.

Relationships are a gift we can not take for granted, none of us.

Results are something anyone can do independently of where we are on any kind of “ladder” we call can do, however small if we just choose to care. What small thing can you do today to help connect and elevate someone else?

Explore thyself, harness data. Dare to experiment. Evaluate accepting multiple axes for what better looks like.

Be kind to others, and yourself, 

by putting yourself on the line for those who care

(this podcast was before known as "Relationship Power at work")

Someone once said. Life is an empty bag and it's your job to fill it purposely and wisely.

For a long time I believed that meant to fill it richly, with great friends and work that really, honestly mattered to those I serve.

What I missed is that the choice where something belongs is a choice you make BEFORE choosing and creating space for the bag, not when it's too full for effective work or whatever the purpose of the bag is.

if you know what each bag is for, and its containers choosing to NOT move it to another bag instead of dealing with it is a lot easier once it gets fuller than ideal.

Not having made the choice early and trying to squeeze your favorite into a full bag is really really emotionally hard. Yet that's how I and most I know often do it.

Buying a new bag/storage isnt a long-term solution.
Likewise not using the important bags for making space for what matters recurringly.

Constraints are your friend. Lean onto them to help yourself and others earlier, not later.

Are you reserving some of your capacity for enabling others without you trading time to help them get to where they need?

What are you teaching whom right now?

Every moment is an open possibility for kindness to others and yourself,
for coaching
for committing yourself for those you care about
dont wait for the big thing
make the small moments matter, again and again.

Do you see what matters to those you serve or are you investing in your own illusions and biases?

What pieces have to exist in order for your strategy to work longterm?

What pieces might exist that you are not seeing and what are you doing to become aware?

What pieces does other need to see in order to get to where they are going?

 

We never see all the pieces that matter, but accepting there is more than we know helps. accepting the uncertainty of what we see and dont see helps free up alot

just a long list of questions to make our heart and mind rest while looking within and beyond

Please help remind those you care about to protect their accounts & devices with Multifactor authentication everywhere.

Seek out ways to stay safe, helping those who you believe dont have the knowledge or capacity.

its always been urgent. Now you cant afford to wait any more. Help save others by lending a nudge, insight or knowledge.

in cyber distance is an illusion and the forces are unreal with very real consequence for you.

Seeing, asking and facing what isn't being said by lifting the Question

How often to you actually pause and make space for yourself to know your position before answering? How often do you refocus on why that ask you for a recommendation?

WHY they are asking in the first place? what is is the ask for a recommended for? 

Why do they ask you? Why now? Where are they now and do you see clearly where they want to go?

Whats your position in the recommendation? You're not in their shoes. Dont let them drag you there. Surely have empathy for their position but remain in yours.

That said said, respectfully levelup their question in a way you think will help them get from where they are and where they want to go. Dont settle for detours.

 

No one care how much effort you invested - they care about how it can help them from where they are to where they are going

release freely and often. if your idea is all you've got you've got nothing. share it with those who need it and embrace reality.

if you have to lock in knowledge you're turning into a commodity. like the hackers in the 80th used to say. information want to be free

deliberately put time-blocks onto your calendar to practice with the intent to throw away

Do things early enough with margins to let go.  create remarkable space for opportunity.  put yourself in a position where your effort matters and get evaluated by those you want to help

time-blocking, intentional action, reflecting on outcome is key. How often do you do it like that?

Dont store - Create, Release, Reflect

So its set. This show will be renamed Results & Relationships.

Why? Im hoping to help you let go of what you make.
Create it with your intent and then release it.

this show isnt just for me. The simpler name might help those its for. you.

Just like everything you create.
Lots of the stuff wont become a recurring growing assets.
but once it does, its important to remember to release it.
its no longer just for you.

Likewise do I hope to inspire you to be kind to yourself when beginning.
its impossible to know what it will become, and whom will have the best effects from your generosity.

sure its important to have an intent, a purpose and an idea if what its for is working.
and that cant happen without an idea who its for

but your work will change, and who its really for will change as you learn more.

Going back to Results & Relationships.
I think its important you think about the ratio in everything.
The highest paid programmers arnt the one writing the best code alone, they get the people and invest time and effort there too.
they get the business and help elevate the people needed to get there.

Making a real big difference is alwawys a dance between multiple axises, multiple metrics es.
Just one thing alone is not enough..

For example we steal from our selves.

write or market - instead of writting better.

write closedloop - a novel in the closet 
you need to you work where you get real life feedback.
write with some sort of notion to check if its working with what its for.

dont look for the silver bullet
dont think you will hack the system and just find the publisher
just get picked with whatever.

keep doing some work thats helping some real cause, person.
if you are not ready to be public about it. just give it into the hands of those you think it will help.

Dare to be specific and clear enough to create tension. Be respectful to those you serve, and those around you and yourself. Dare to show the tension early saves so many so much - its an huge alternative cost for us people pleasers who rather save those tough confrontative talks for tomorrow. Thinking we're doing the generous thing to have more details, habits, patterns for when we adress it.. yet often resulting in a big cost of delay or ourselves realizing to late that we're serving the wrong thing to long.

Owning your choice of context, your patterns and positions from which to serve.

Are you owning your choice of context?
Do you position yourself with people and situations that are likely to help others long-term and effectively?

Are you diving into your context to find the context within the context of what truly matter to those you seek to serve?

What do you rhyme with?

What does your work ryme with?
What does your relationship ryme with?
Whats your future ryme with?

We live in a time where most want to "Predict the next big wave", "find The Key that unlocks it all" or that "The golden segment to distript industries". Chasing that dream of exponential growth.

Believing we see it everywhere. Not seeing the infinite amount of tries between the dots of success.

For most of us this results in a cost of delay, in procrastination lost in a waiting game. Doing something every day that you learn from is the most common story of those that have made it.
Doing consistantly that work that helps you connect to those you want to help is the best way to learn what matter.
Waiting for to catch that "wave that is worth it" often means when it comes we are not ready to harness it. Embrace the small wins, the opportunityo to train that skill, to listen and learn to see.

What do you ryme with? Often it helps me think of predictions like spirals or repeat cycles. Instead of trying to predict exacly what the future looks like its often more helpful to se the pace of small levelups around you.
And surround yourself with others dancing to that rythm instead of lost playing the waiting for a worthy wave game.

Surround yourself with people that appreciate that you try to daily show up for what you believe in. To make a differerence for that next ryme. People who will happily let you borrow their work and learnings for that next experiment. People believing your effort will help you all versus being in a competition.

Do you see its many sides and shapes?

There is always many sides and shapes to everything that matter.
Some sharper than others. Few see the world exactly like you do.
How many of the worldviews of those you serve can you hold higher than your own when needed?

Do you intentionally make space to stay off the beaten path in a few select areas over a longer time?

Do you intentionally surround yourself with people who are happy to accept that on the edge there isnt a one clear metric to rule them all?

Do you intentionally gather people who get energy, rest and clarity from being together?

Book recommendations in this cast:

* Cold Start problem and the double-edged sword of network effect. A book that came out today so I havent fully read it yet

* This is marketing - a book I'v read multiple times and I still learn something every time.

Uncanny Sight: You saw something inside me that I didnt see until years later yet I wasnt ready when you named it and that made me nervous

Are you making people uncomfortable with what you see or does your lended sights give them freedom, energy or clarity to act for their own benefit?

Sometimes the people around you are not ready to connect to what you want to connect on.
How can you learn to see that early?
If you want to help make change happen you must meet people where they are right now.
not where you know they will be eventually.

Often that means you need to go first. To show trust by creating space for them first.
To listen for what happens or dont happen and if needed just move on. Or in other times lean in, staying with the tension longer for THEIR benefit. At other time its the exact that behaviour that makes them too uncomfortable. Easy to see in retrospect and the long game.
Really hard in the moment.
Are you paying attention to the recipient of what you see right now?
What you might call kind clarity might be perceived as way to much tension for me.
Likewise though. A few years later it might be exactly those very word you get thanked for.

[
I was also having a deep cold recording this. I hope it was bearable to listen to despite that
]

Relentless tests. Lessons and gifts are optional.

Relentless tests. Every second of your life, business & relationships.

Question is though. Are you taking the lessons that matter and letting go what doesnt belong so you learn between tests?
Are you accepting the gifts that helps both you and their giver, and letting the ones go that dont? Even if they are from yourself, fully formed, shiny and polished with hardwon sunc costs?

When you grew up. School gave you lessons, then you take the test.
And you though that was the "fair" order it was supposed to be done at.
I believe that by embracing reality you see we are all given neverending tests and its very very optional if anyone will take the lesson. Less easy is to see its the same with gifts from your former self to yourself. What got you here wont get you there. Let go of that raft and habits that protected you so far so you can form new one that serves you better where you want to go from here.

Instead of seeing goals and the long journey there. Embrace the hard obstacles right here right now. Help others move their for them, learning for yourself while doing it.

Instead of longing for a smooth journey towards the goal. Embrace that the "deeper downs" will teach you better & faster. So so how can you weave in rest time so you can go deep on a hard problem when helpful? You level up faster in positions like that versus the dream you have of smooth sailing
That position is a choice. That emotional labor is a choice.
if whater you are feeling right now isnt what you want. Whats the lesson? Whats the gift from your former past, the company you keep. what are you carrying that you can lay down in favor of helping to carry something else?

Sensortoipia. Metaverse. Data. machine learning. Fast pace of our world... Makes it hard to see the lesson longterm to say privacy yet you can still think about it right now.

Who am I teaching right now?
its so hard to missread reality thru the lens of the past.
Its so easy to be blinded by the shiny object or goal in the future.
Who am I teaching right now? Take a breath and ask yourself this six times centering on just one of the word each time you ask it.
You just might see reality better.

You are being tested all the time. Dont be unprepared. Dont autoaccept whats given.

Whats worth that extra care?

Who are worthy of that extra effort again and again?

About this eposide:
I'm glad to introduce you to Özlem, our first guest in perhaps 6 years or something of weekly shipping.

Since the 1990ths I have always created a few cyber communities where we have learned together. (On whatever voice platform made it most easy at the time)
Almost every day I'd join a live voice channel in a joint venture within a game the group as a whole would be playing.

This created a space where so many different age-groups, professions and walks of life met. Often and recurring working together creates remarkable spaces. One where we know during our day we have this "other" place where we can questions. Learn from others experiences or share when we feel vulnerable. On any topic from Life, business or anything.

I thus jumped into AltMBA number 4. Knowing already at #1 it was for me but I feared I wasnt worthy enough to be there so took a while before I dared. I have since been part of 30 akimbo workshops and a remarkable coach in a few. Because I believe in learning together. Helping each other see better together. Feel seen for what matters. So when my friend Özlem started her course on Maven.com A platform where I've also been part of a few great community based courses I thought we should talk about whats inside her creation for your benefit.

About your guest:

Özlem Özkan is an author, podcaster, teacher and coach. She tells us more about how she got Seth Godin on her show, went from homeless to living in a monument, and how every NO brought her closer to the YES.

Özlem was invited to be an instructor with Maven, a new cohort-based course platform founded by the co-founder of Udemy and the co-founder of altMBA. She is now teaching the cohort-based-course DARE TO ASK at Maven.

To attend her free workshop go to https://lu.ma/ooj6zmcs

Check out DARE TO ASK on https://maven.com/bridging-workshops/dare-to-ask?custom=true

Özlem’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ozlemozkan/

Özlem’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozkanozlem/?hl=en